The damn Rangers/Rays series fooled me. The Rangers are actually much much better than I thought.
Before I get to my ULTIMATE BASEBALL PLAYOFF PREVIEW PT 2, I must say the following:
Bill Simmons is a douche. It is the middle of the baseball playoffs, Week 6 of a great NFL season, the middle of a crazy college football season, and this guy writes a basketball column.
Bonerkill.
Ben Roethlisberger is back from raping women...I mean, he's back from his 4-game suspension..for raping women. The Steelers are already seen as one of the best teams in the NFL, and now they are getting one of the league's best QB's back. Too bad he rapes women. You think he's gotten laid since his allegations? And what kind of dumb, low-life, skank of a woman would actually have sex with him at this time?
No seriously..who? Comment. (Note: don't say "your mom/sister/grandma")
Time for CHAMPIONSHIP SERIES PREVIEWS (yeah, it's late):
Yankees vs. Rangers
Position by Position ratings! (Again? How boring.)
Catcher: Posada vs. Molina
I can't say enough about how bad Jorge Posada is. He's thrown out 15.3% of stolen base attempts this season. THAT IS TERRIBLE, FOLKS. If the Yankees win this series, and the next team decides to play with a cardboard printout of a catcher (that isn't Jorge), I will choose that picture to have the edge in my player rater system.
Edge: Molina
1B: Teixeira vs. Mitch Moreland
I don't know much about this rookie Moreland except that he has a funny name. I might be reading a bit between the lines here, but I think his ancestors owned a large plantation and had many many slaves.
Mark Tex used to play for the Rangers, which means they made him good before the Yankees paid him millions to come to NY. Yay, baseball parity!
Edge: Tex by a lot
2B: Cano vs. Kinsler
Ian Kinsler is pretty underrated. He's a top offensive second baseman but no one really knows of him unless you play fantasy baseball. But Cano has been so good in the playoffs so far that it's hard to say anyone else has been better.
Edge: I think you know, don't ya? (i.e. CANO, DON'T YA KNOW?)
3B: A-Rod vs. Michael Young
Michael Young, Todd Helton, and Livan Hernandez are the answers to every baseball trivia question in the 2000s. Trust me.
Edge: A-Rod
SS: Jeter vs. Andrus
Derek Jeter makes me frustrated more and more each season. He's the Yankee Captain, but even I can admit that he's a bit overrated. He's a career .262 hitter in the ALCS. Captain Clutch? Not so much.
Edge: Even
OF: Gardner/Granderson/Swisher vs. Cruz/Hamilton/Francoeur
This is tough...well, not really. Gardner and Granderson have been good, but Cruz and Hamilton are better. Hamilton is probably the MVP this season, and his tendency to hit a baseball well is only matched by his tendency to abuse drugs and alcohol.
Edge: Rangers
DH: Berkman vs. Vlad Guerrero
Lance Berkman has been a huge disappointment for the Yankees. He's a plate disciplined, power hitter who lost his power and plate discipline. Vlad Guerrero is old but still good. Vlad hit .300 this season and hit 29HRs.
Edge: VLAD
Pitching:
Since I'm writing this after watching two games already, I will use my 20/20 hindsight vision to say the following: the Yankees are in trouble. CC and Phil Hughes both got rocked. The Yankees HAVE to win the games CC pitches, and they got bailed out in game 1. Cliff Lee vs. Pettite in Game 3, and Yankee fans should remember the ass-whooping they got from Lee last year in Yankee stadium in the World Series. If the Yankees lose Game 3, they have to count on the shitty AJ Burnett in Game 4. The offense isn't doing great, with much of their runs coming from the bottom of the lineup and Cano.
Manager: Girardi vs. Ron Washington
There's so much to say about Washington.
He smoked crack!!!
Okay, I guess there's not THAT much to say.
In conclusion, I'd be worried if I were a Yankee fan. The Rangers have speed and run the bases really well. And if Girardi doesn't play Cervelli over Posada, then he is an idiot and I will never forgive him if they lose.
As for the Giants/Phillies series:
The pitching is just ridiculous in this series. The team ERA for the Giants since last month is under 1.50. The Phillies have the best pitcher, the best #2 spot pitcher, and the best #3 spot pitcher.
Prediction: Giants in 7
Youtube Clip of the Week:
If you haven't seen it, watch the whole thing. If you have seen it, watch it again. I guess what I'm trying to say is, the video is awesome.
Suck on that DK!
-jk
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
The Closer
Football:
It’s been a good football season so far. It’s been difficult to see which teams are good and which are bad. (Woah, incredible insight. I write like a four-year-old.) Everytime you think a team has “figured it out” (i.e. the colts) they turn around and disappoint the next week. We are 1/4th (4 games out of 16 games reduced to lowest terms) of the way through the season, and no team has pulled away at all. I guess it’s too early, but even the teams that are 3-1 haven’t been very consistent.
I like the Ravens, Steelers, and Jets in the AFC. There’s a joke in here somewhere about Ray Lewis being a murderer, Ben Roethlisberger being a rapist, and Antonio Cromartie having a billion illegitimate children…but I won’t go there…oh I guess I just did.
Baseball:
The Yankees stumbled into the playoffs, losing 9 of 11 or something like that. They nabbed the Wild Card and start game 1 tomorrow against Minnesota in Minnesota. Let’s go position by position for my ULTIMATE BASEBALL PLAYOFF PREVIEW PT 1:
Catcher (haha, catcher): Jorge Posada vs. Joe Mauer
Posada is juuuuuuuuuuust about 95 years old. He thinks he can still catch but I, along with just about everyone else in the world including his wife and children, beg to differ. He is also the slowest thing in the world. Like, nothing in the world is slower than Posada. List of things he is slower than:
1. Time. Let’s imagine you haven’t slept for 48 hours and you go into work in the morning completely demolished. That 8 hour day will seem like a millennium, right? It will still pass by faster than Jorge Posada “moving” towards first base.
2. Death. There are many theories on what happens when you die, but I think we can all agree that wherever you go, whether it’s hell, heaven, or nowhere, you are there forever. And all you do is watch clips of Jorge posada running. And then you realize you are in hell.
3. Poop. Literally, if there was a race between the slowest piece of shit in the world and Jorge, from someone’s butthole to the toilet water, it would be a photo finish and the poop would win.
What else is he slower than? Comment below.
Posada’s so called “strength” is his hitting. He’s hit a whopping .248 this year. Awesome! On the other hand, Joe Mauer won the AL MVP last year and is the best catcher in the league.
Edge: Mauer by a mile
1st base: Mark Teixeira vs. Michael Cuddyer
Mark vs. Michael. This has to be the whitest matchup on the entire list. The Yankees catch a break, because the regular 1b for the Twins Justin Morneau is out for the postseason. Tex is pretty good, but really kinda choked last year in their championship run. He would’ve taken much blame if the Yankees didn’t win in 09.
Edge: Yankees by a half-mile
2nd base: Robby Cano vs. Orlando Hudson
This is where the Yankees pwn the Twins. Cano is the best defensive and offensive 2nd baseman in the American League. He is an mvp candidate who will ultimately fail miserably in the playoffs. But he’s ROBBIE CANO DON’T YA KNOW?
Edge: Yankees by 2 miles
SS: Derek Jeter vs. JJ Hardy
Hardy has a funny name. Jeter is the all-time postseason leader in games, hits, runs, and 3rd all-time in homeruns. That’s a crazy stat that Yankee fans might be embarrassed to hear. It gives more ammo to those who think the Yankees just buy their way into the playoffs every year. Hey, that rhymed!
Oh, and Jeter is oldddd.
Edge: Yankees by 8 years
3B: Alex Rodriguez vs. Danny Valencia
If I was given a nickel every time I heard the name Danny Valencia, I would have 0 nickels. I still don’t believe he exists even though I googled the Minnesota Twins lineup and saw his name printed on the Twins website. I am still convinced that the Twins play with a 3 man infield.
As for A-rod, he had the best postseason of his career last year and carried the Yankees to a WS title. But since then he broke up with good luck charm Kate Hudson and started dating Cameron Diaz. I’m not sure if that was a fair trade, but if the Yankees fail we can clearly put the blame on Diaz. There’s something crappy about Mary.
Edge: Yankees by 2 miles
OF: Swisher/Granderson/Gardner vs. Kubel/Span/Young
The outfield has been weak for the Yankees the past few years. It’s been the infield and pitching that has carried them. But goddamn look at that pu-pu platter of an outfield the Twins are fielding. I actually think the only way these guys have an impact on the series is if they make a serious mistake.
Edge: Even
Starting Pitchers: CC/Pettitte/Hughes/Burnett vs. Liriano/Pavano/Duensing/Blackburn
It’s all about pitching in the playoffs. The Yankees don’t have it, but the Twins don’t have it more. CC is the only dependable one out of the 8 pitchers. Therefore the Yankees have the edge.
Edge: Yankees by a foot
Bullpen: Rivera and company vs. Capps/Rauch/Fuentes and company
I understand Rivera is the best closer of all time. But he is almost 41 years old, which is like 74 in baseball latino years. And Capps/Rauch/Fuentes have all been good closers in the past few years. That’s a pretty damn good setup for innings 7,8,9. Yankees have 9 locked down, but nothing else.
Edge: Twins by a mile and a half
Manager: Joe Girardi vs. Ronny G
Now this is a matchup that is really really uninteresting. I think Joe overmanages, trying to play every single play like it’s going to determine a win or loss. Ron, on the other hand, just looks so boring that I want to fall asleep whenever they put him on camera. I bet he reads the dictionary in his spare time. I always picture him with his old man reading glasses, sitting in a rocking chair by the fireplace, reading the dictionary cover to cover, and occasionally saying “hhmmm” every time he comes across a word he finds interesting.
Edge: They both lose by a mile to themselves.
I refuse to predict this series because I have a rooting interest in it. What do you guys think? Who will win this series and in how many games (best of 5)?
Preview of other series:
Phillies/Reds: It’s a cool story that the Reds are in the playoffs for the first time in 15 years. But the story ends here. Phillies in 3.
Giants/Braves: Braves are good, Giants pitching is sick. Giants in 4.
Rays/Rangers: Rangers suck. Rays in 3.
Food for thought:
If the WNBA season goes by and nobody sees it, did it really happen?
That's all for now!
Youtube:
What an awkward interview! That last line has been said many times by Gottlieb before, just not in that circumstance.
-jk
It’s been a good football season so far. It’s been difficult to see which teams are good and which are bad. (Woah, incredible insight. I write like a four-year-old.) Everytime you think a team has “figured it out” (i.e. the colts) they turn around and disappoint the next week. We are 1/4th (4 games out of 16 games reduced to lowest terms) of the way through the season, and no team has pulled away at all. I guess it’s too early, but even the teams that are 3-1 haven’t been very consistent.
I like the Ravens, Steelers, and Jets in the AFC. There’s a joke in here somewhere about Ray Lewis being a murderer, Ben Roethlisberger being a rapist, and Antonio Cromartie having a billion illegitimate children…but I won’t go there…oh I guess I just did.
Baseball:
The Yankees stumbled into the playoffs, losing 9 of 11 or something like that. They nabbed the Wild Card and start game 1 tomorrow against Minnesota in Minnesota. Let’s go position by position for my ULTIMATE BASEBALL PLAYOFF PREVIEW PT 1:
Catcher (haha, catcher): Jorge Posada vs. Joe Mauer
Posada is juuuuuuuuuuust about 95 years old. He thinks he can still catch but I, along with just about everyone else in the world including his wife and children, beg to differ. He is also the slowest thing in the world. Like, nothing in the world is slower than Posada. List of things he is slower than:
1. Time. Let’s imagine you haven’t slept for 48 hours and you go into work in the morning completely demolished. That 8 hour day will seem like a millennium, right? It will still pass by faster than Jorge Posada “moving” towards first base.
2. Death. There are many theories on what happens when you die, but I think we can all agree that wherever you go, whether it’s hell, heaven, or nowhere, you are there forever. And all you do is watch clips of Jorge posada running. And then you realize you are in hell.
3. Poop. Literally, if there was a race between the slowest piece of shit in the world and Jorge, from someone’s butthole to the toilet water, it would be a photo finish and the poop would win.
What else is he slower than? Comment below.
Posada’s so called “strength” is his hitting. He’s hit a whopping .248 this year. Awesome! On the other hand, Joe Mauer won the AL MVP last year and is the best catcher in the league.
Edge: Mauer by a mile
1st base: Mark Teixeira vs. Michael Cuddyer
Mark vs. Michael. This has to be the whitest matchup on the entire list. The Yankees catch a break, because the regular 1b for the Twins Justin Morneau is out for the postseason. Tex is pretty good, but really kinda choked last year in their championship run. He would’ve taken much blame if the Yankees didn’t win in 09.
Edge: Yankees by a half-mile
2nd base: Robby Cano vs. Orlando Hudson
This is where the Yankees pwn the Twins. Cano is the best defensive and offensive 2nd baseman in the American League. He is an mvp candidate who will ultimately fail miserably in the playoffs. But he’s ROBBIE CANO DON’T YA KNOW?
Edge: Yankees by 2 miles
SS: Derek Jeter vs. JJ Hardy
Hardy has a funny name. Jeter is the all-time postseason leader in games, hits, runs, and 3rd all-time in homeruns. That’s a crazy stat that Yankee fans might be embarrassed to hear. It gives more ammo to those who think the Yankees just buy their way into the playoffs every year. Hey, that rhymed!
Oh, and Jeter is oldddd.
Edge: Yankees by 8 years
3B: Alex Rodriguez vs. Danny Valencia
If I was given a nickel every time I heard the name Danny Valencia, I would have 0 nickels. I still don’t believe he exists even though I googled the Minnesota Twins lineup and saw his name printed on the Twins website. I am still convinced that the Twins play with a 3 man infield.
As for A-rod, he had the best postseason of his career last year and carried the Yankees to a WS title. But since then he broke up with good luck charm Kate Hudson and started dating Cameron Diaz. I’m not sure if that was a fair trade, but if the Yankees fail we can clearly put the blame on Diaz. There’s something crappy about Mary.
Edge: Yankees by 2 miles
OF: Swisher/Granderson/Gardner vs. Kubel/Span/Young
The outfield has been weak for the Yankees the past few years. It’s been the infield and pitching that has carried them. But goddamn look at that pu-pu platter of an outfield the Twins are fielding. I actually think the only way these guys have an impact on the series is if they make a serious mistake.
Edge: Even
Starting Pitchers: CC/Pettitte/Hughes/Burnett vs. Liriano/Pavano/Duensing/Blackburn
It’s all about pitching in the playoffs. The Yankees don’t have it, but the Twins don’t have it more. CC is the only dependable one out of the 8 pitchers. Therefore the Yankees have the edge.
Edge: Yankees by a foot
Bullpen: Rivera and company vs. Capps/Rauch/Fuentes and company
I understand Rivera is the best closer of all time. But he is almost 41 years old, which is like 74 in baseball latino years. And Capps/Rauch/Fuentes have all been good closers in the past few years. That’s a pretty damn good setup for innings 7,8,9. Yankees have 9 locked down, but nothing else.
Edge: Twins by a mile and a half
Manager: Joe Girardi vs. Ronny G
Now this is a matchup that is really really uninteresting. I think Joe overmanages, trying to play every single play like it’s going to determine a win or loss. Ron, on the other hand, just looks so boring that I want to fall asleep whenever they put him on camera. I bet he reads the dictionary in his spare time. I always picture him with his old man reading glasses, sitting in a rocking chair by the fireplace, reading the dictionary cover to cover, and occasionally saying “hhmmm” every time he comes across a word he finds interesting.
Edge: They both lose by a mile to themselves.
I refuse to predict this series because I have a rooting interest in it. What do you guys think? Who will win this series and in how many games (best of 5)?
Preview of other series:
Phillies/Reds: It’s a cool story that the Reds are in the playoffs for the first time in 15 years. But the story ends here. Phillies in 3.
Giants/Braves: Braves are good, Giants pitching is sick. Giants in 4.
Rays/Rangers: Rangers suck. Rays in 3.
Food for thought:
If the WNBA season goes by and nobody sees it, did it really happen?
That's all for now!
Youtube:
What an awkward interview! That last line has been said many times by Gottlieb before, just not in that circumstance.
-jk
Monday, September 13, 2010
Never Again
Football began this week, and yesterday was one very sports-filled day. The early games started at 1, at 2:30 came the USA-Turkey World Championships of basketball, at 4 came the late games, 4:30 was the US Open finale (that was rain-delayed), and finally the Sunday night football game.
In other non-sports news, the WNBA finals began yesterday.
I enjoy watching football. I could literally sit down and watch football from the 1pm game all the way to the end of the 8pm game. However, what killed me this week was all of the fantasy football and pick'em games that I participated in. I had 2 fantasy football teams running, 1 survival football, 2 pick'ems vs the spread, and 2 regular pick'ems all going at the same time.
It all just completely confused me on who I should be rooting for. Should I root for the 49ers, or their opponents, or just their players, or just their Defense, or should I just quit and get a life? I think the latter.
This is a good time of year because not only does football start but baseball comes to a close. And the baseball playoffs are really probably my favorite playoffs of them all. This is the time of year that my pants struggle to contain my excitement.
Kevin Durant was amazing in his MVP performance in the FIBA tournament. He's so good that:
1. He walks on water and swims through land.
2. He can unscramble eggs.
3. He can kill two stones with one bird.
..just kidding. That's Chuck Norris.
Oh btw, my Superbowl pick is the Colts over the Packers. Write it down. Or don't. It's already written here.
I'll definitely try to update more so my 3 fans can justify checking every day. (Don't lie, I know you do)
Youtube Clip of the Week:
At :17 he is supposed to say, "..worth being so unattractive"
Hilarious.
Too funny.
Oh, and the facebook countdown is on.
-jk
In other non-sports news, the WNBA finals began yesterday.
I enjoy watching football. I could literally sit down and watch football from the 1pm game all the way to the end of the 8pm game. However, what killed me this week was all of the fantasy football and pick'em games that I participated in. I had 2 fantasy football teams running, 1 survival football, 2 pick'ems vs the spread, and 2 regular pick'ems all going at the same time.
It all just completely confused me on who I should be rooting for. Should I root for the 49ers, or their opponents, or just their players, or just their Defense, or should I just quit and get a life? I think the latter.
This is a good time of year because not only does football start but baseball comes to a close. And the baseball playoffs are really probably my favorite playoffs of them all. This is the time of year that my pants struggle to contain my excitement.
Kevin Durant was amazing in his MVP performance in the FIBA tournament. He's so good that:
1. He walks on water and swims through land.
2. He can unscramble eggs.
3. He can kill two stones with one bird.
..just kidding. That's Chuck Norris.
Oh btw, my Superbowl pick is the Colts over the Packers. Write it down. Or don't. It's already written here.
I'll definitely try to update more so my 3 fans can justify checking every day. (Don't lie, I know you do)
Youtube Clip of the Week:
At :17 he is supposed to say, "..worth being so unattractive"
Hilarious.
Too funny.
Oh, and the facebook countdown is on.
-jk
Monday, August 30, 2010
He did it
I always wondered what kind of job would be best for me. What would I like to do most, within reason? It's a pretty difficult question for anyone, but I've never really found a big interest in any real academic subject. I guess sometimes you just fall into a major and stick with it.
Finding a niche isn't easy. Growing up I thought being a lawyer would be pretty cool, but even to this day I can't help but laugh when hearing the words pro bono.
Being in the medical field would be rewarding but it's depressing thinking about working in a hospital all the time. I can't think of another occupation where you have to work so hard just to be average. I decided I am going to be a full-time blogger. For life. F money.
I look forward to the weekend so much that everyday I wake up and feel like it's Friday. Then I realize it's Monday or Tuesday and I want to throw up. (Yes, everyday that is not Friday is Monday or Tuesday.)
Roger Clemens is digging himself deeper into his own grave. The man takes steroids, people watch him, then he's found guilty, but he keeps claiming innocence. Just based on the naked eye test, I think it's pretty obvious he is a dirty dirty man. For the following reasons:
1.
2. See #1.
Does anyone in the world like this guy? He left every single team he played for on bad terms. Not even the Yankee fans like him, though he won championships here in NY. The casual fan hates him, because he juiced. He cheated on his wife with a country music star, so his family probably hates him. Everyone else hates him because we all hate country music. This guy really has no friends. If a young chick was being born and it just cracked through its eggshell and peeked its head out of a small hole and saw Roger Clemens, it would commit suicide by jumping out of its nest. Immediately.
What else can you add to why/how the world hates Roger Clemens? Comment. Here are a few more to get you started:
-Every night before the devil goes to sleep, he prays to Roger Clemens.
-Roger Clemens supports terrorism in the war against terrorism.
-He always, always eats the last piece of cake.
Your turn!
I have a youtube clip of the week:
Roger Clemens is as intelligent as Charlie:
-jk
Finding a niche isn't easy. Growing up I thought being a lawyer would be pretty cool, but even to this day I can't help but laugh when hearing the words pro bono.
Being in the medical field would be rewarding but it's depressing thinking about working in a hospital all the time. I can't think of another occupation where you have to work so hard just to be average. I decided I am going to be a full-time blogger. For life. F money.
I look forward to the weekend so much that everyday I wake up and feel like it's Friday. Then I realize it's Monday or Tuesday and I want to throw up. (Yes, everyday that is not Friday is Monday or Tuesday.)
Roger Clemens is digging himself deeper into his own grave. The man takes steroids, people watch him, then he's found guilty, but he keeps claiming innocence. Just based on the naked eye test, I think it's pretty obvious he is a dirty dirty man. For the following reasons:
1.
2. See #1.
Does anyone in the world like this guy? He left every single team he played for on bad terms. Not even the Yankee fans like him, though he won championships here in NY. The casual fan hates him, because he juiced. He cheated on his wife with a country music star, so his family probably hates him. Everyone else hates him because we all hate country music. This guy really has no friends. If a young chick was being born and it just cracked through its eggshell and peeked its head out of a small hole and saw Roger Clemens, it would commit suicide by jumping out of its nest. Immediately.
What else can you add to why/how the world hates Roger Clemens? Comment. Here are a few more to get you started:
-Every night before the devil goes to sleep, he prays to Roger Clemens.
-Roger Clemens supports terrorism in the war against terrorism.
-He always, always eats the last piece of cake.
Your turn!
I have a youtube clip of the week:
Roger Clemens is as intelligent as Charlie:
-jk
Thursday, August 19, 2010
my favorite planet? uranus.
What's up? Not much here.
With Brett Favre coming back, the Vikings just jumped into Superbowl contention.
I know football is America's #1 sport and people get really excited starting from the beginning of training camp, but I can't seem to. Training camp and preseason football is more boring than the middle of baseball season to me. All anyone talks about is injuries, fantasy football player rankings, and fake drama. Oh my god! Rex Ryan is cursing too much!!! Oh man, Terrell Owens and Ocho Cinco just made eye contact! They hate each other! Ah, Brett Favre just had diarrhea!! I am excited for the season, but stupid preseason stuff gets way too much attention.
Which sport is the most luck-based/which is the most skill-based?
Baseball is probably the hardest game to play, along with golf. You can't just rely on pure athleticism/strength to be good at these sports. You need to be born with some God-given skills and still put in millions of hours of practice. In basketball, if you're 6'8, you pick up a ball and dunk. Congrats, you can at least make a college team. In football, if you're 6'3 and 300 lbs, you can do something useful on the field. Here's my debatable list, from most skill based to most athletic based:
1. Baseball
2. Golf
3. Hockey
4. Soccer (best combo of both)
5. Basketball
6. Football
The thing about hockey is that you need to be an A++++ ice skater to play. I can't skate for shit so I can respect guys who skate all day with full contact while trying to control a tiny puck with a long stick...sounds kind of gay.
Oops, forgot about tennis...if this fake video were real, it would jump to #1...but I can't tell if it's real. No, it's fake. Definitely fake...right?
I hate the guy who invented video editing. Back in the day, when a person died in a movie, they died in real life...I liked it that way. Maybe I'm old school.
Youtube Clip of the Week:
Skip ahead to 1:49 for the real stuff.
He's got some talent. He should take it to South Beach.
-jk
With Brett Favre coming back, the Vikings just jumped into Superbowl contention.
I know football is America's #1 sport and people get really excited starting from the beginning of training camp, but I can't seem to. Training camp and preseason football is more boring than the middle of baseball season to me. All anyone talks about is injuries, fantasy football player rankings, and fake drama. Oh my god! Rex Ryan is cursing too much!!! Oh man, Terrell Owens and Ocho Cinco just made eye contact! They hate each other! Ah, Brett Favre just had diarrhea!! I am excited for the season, but stupid preseason stuff gets way too much attention.
Which sport is the most luck-based/which is the most skill-based?
Baseball is probably the hardest game to play, along with golf. You can't just rely on pure athleticism/strength to be good at these sports. You need to be born with some God-given skills and still put in millions of hours of practice. In basketball, if you're 6'8, you pick up a ball and dunk. Congrats, you can at least make a college team. In football, if you're 6'3 and 300 lbs, you can do something useful on the field. Here's my debatable list, from most skill based to most athletic based:
1. Baseball
2. Golf
3. Hockey
4. Soccer (best combo of both)
5. Basketball
6. Football
The thing about hockey is that you need to be an A++++ ice skater to play. I can't skate for shit so I can respect guys who skate all day with full contact while trying to control a tiny puck with a long stick...sounds kind of gay.
Oops, forgot about tennis...if this fake video were real, it would jump to #1...but I can't tell if it's real. No, it's fake. Definitely fake...right?
I hate the guy who invented video editing. Back in the day, when a person died in a movie, they died in real life...I liked it that way. Maybe I'm old school.
Youtube Clip of the Week:
Skip ahead to 1:49 for the real stuff.
He's got some talent. He should take it to South Beach.
-jk
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Dooty
A-Rod hit his 600th HR today. I don't think anyone really cares. The casual fan thinks anyone who does anything significant in baseball is on steroids. Sadly, they aren't totally wrong. Anyone who's broken a record in the past 15-20 years could have been juiced. Anyone who breaks a record in the next 5-10 years may have been juiced at some point in their career. Steroids brought fans back to baseball in the 90s. Now it's making people lose interest.
The Brett Favre story changes everyday, and of course he disclaims reports that he texted teammates that he was retiring. This guy is an attention whore. I refuse to waste my time on his waffling ass. I got better things to do.
Speaking of Brett Favre, apparently he's sent penis pics to some girl when he was with the Jets! And he's married! And this past Superbowl he watched it with Tiger Woods! Ah!
Nice Catch, youtube clip of the week:
EMBED-Spiderman Style Baseball Catch - Watch more free videos
-jk
The Brett Favre story changes everyday, and of course he disclaims reports that he texted teammates that he was retiring. This guy is an attention whore. I refuse to waste my time on his waffling ass. I got better things to do.
Speaking of Brett Favre, apparently he's sent penis pics to some girl when he was with the Jets! And he's married! And this past Superbowl he watched it with Tiger Woods! Ah!
Nice Catch, youtube clip of the week:
EMBED-Spiderman Style Baseball Catch - Watch more free videos
-jk
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Duty
So this was awkward...I'm currently at jury duty. There are maybe 300 people in this room and just a few outlets. Since I brought my laptop, I found a nice corner with an outlet and sat there. Another dude finds the outlet near me and plugs in before I do. Since I have about 3 hours of battery life I decided not to plug in yet. Another man finds the open plug and sits two rows ahead of me. While he pulls out his laptop, I immediately reach into my bag pull out the cord and charge up at 95%. He has yet to turn around.
F him, I was here first.
I decided I am going to try and be selected. I think I hate work that much. I will talk to the lawyers like a regular person and not let them know my deep inner racist, prejudice, anti-Jew/Asian/gay/straight/black/white/animal/vegan thoughts. I hope the hate doesn't accidentally slip out.
I love baseball and the old-school mentality to the game. I love the rich history and the "numbers" that made the game great. Though the recently broken records have been tainted by steroids, some people continue to hold onto the old records and dismiss the new ones.
It's weird that the game of baseball, which has changed more through the years than any of the other big sports, is the one sport that we really pay close attention to numbers for. If you think about it, many people still jerk off to Babe Ruth records. How can his numbers still be relevant? Since he retired then they have introduced lower mounds, smaller stadiums, better bats, better mitts, NON-WHITE PEOPLE, etc.
You would think records matter more for sports that have a completely level playing field. But no...the records are soo damn significant in a game where every single team plays on a different size field, where half the league plays with an extra hitter while the other half has the pitcher batting, and all teams spend varying amounts of money on players. Not to mention that most of the stats from the old days (ERA, Wins, BA, RBI, etc.) are quite flawed.
Brett Favre is retiring again, I don't buy it. He'll be there playing when the Vikings season starts. He just wants to skip mini-camp like he normally does. I don't even know why ESPN and other sports sites even report that he's "retiring" because we all know it's a scam.
Hey Brett, why don't you stop being an emotional little pussy and stop trying to jerk everyone around and just say you're skipping camp and you'll be ready for the season. Asshole.
Reports say Shaq may sign with the Celtics...I think they both lose on this one. I hate Shaq. I think he's an attention hog who actually sucks at everything he's ever done. He's used his god given fat ass to play basketball (a game he would never even be close to good at if he weren't so large), and his fame to try and rap and be funny. He's about as funny as the thing created if Dane Cook had a baby with Carlos Mencia and that baby took a poop. Basically, he's just as funny as a regular unfunny comedian's shit. And he's even worse at rapping.
Inception was great.
Entourage Season 7 sucks.
Louie is great.
That's all for now.
Youtube Clip of the Week:
Here's another trick shot.
I'm getting so bored of these. If you put a billion monkeys with a billion typewriters in a room, one will write a coherent novel right? I could do that if I had time, a camera, and douches to get excited when I make it. Hell I could go get a basketball, go to the moon, throw the ball from the moon, make it fight through to the earth's atmosphere, then land inside of a gym, then bounce once into the hoop and then have the ball turn into a monkey with a typewriter. It can be done, I swear all I need is time.
-jk
F him, I was here first.
I decided I am going to try and be selected. I think I hate work that much. I will talk to the lawyers like a regular person and not let them know my deep inner racist, prejudice, anti-Jew/Asian/gay/straight/black/white/animal/vegan thoughts. I hope the hate doesn't accidentally slip out.
I love baseball and the old-school mentality to the game. I love the rich history and the "numbers" that made the game great. Though the recently broken records have been tainted by steroids, some people continue to hold onto the old records and dismiss the new ones.
It's weird that the game of baseball, which has changed more through the years than any of the other big sports, is the one sport that we really pay close attention to numbers for. If you think about it, many people still jerk off to Babe Ruth records. How can his numbers still be relevant? Since he retired then they have introduced lower mounds, smaller stadiums, better bats, better mitts, NON-WHITE PEOPLE, etc.
You would think records matter more for sports that have a completely level playing field. But no...the records are soo damn significant in a game where every single team plays on a different size field, where half the league plays with an extra hitter while the other half has the pitcher batting, and all teams spend varying amounts of money on players. Not to mention that most of the stats from the old days (ERA, Wins, BA, RBI, etc.) are quite flawed.
Brett Favre is retiring again, I don't buy it. He'll be there playing when the Vikings season starts. He just wants to skip mini-camp like he normally does. I don't even know why ESPN and other sports sites even report that he's "retiring" because we all know it's a scam.
Hey Brett, why don't you stop being an emotional little pussy and stop trying to jerk everyone around and just say you're skipping camp and you'll be ready for the season. Asshole.
Reports say Shaq may sign with the Celtics...I think they both lose on this one. I hate Shaq. I think he's an attention hog who actually sucks at everything he's ever done. He's used his god given fat ass to play basketball (a game he would never even be close to good at if he weren't so large), and his fame to try and rap and be funny. He's about as funny as the thing created if Dane Cook had a baby with Carlos Mencia and that baby took a poop. Basically, he's just as funny as a regular unfunny comedian's shit. And he's even worse at rapping.
Inception was great.
Entourage Season 7 sucks.
Louie is great.
That's all for now.
Youtube Clip of the Week:
Here's another trick shot.
I'm getting so bored of these. If you put a billion monkeys with a billion typewriters in a room, one will write a coherent novel right? I could do that if I had time, a camera, and douches to get excited when I make it. Hell I could go get a basketball, go to the moon, throw the ball from the moon, make it fight through to the earth's atmosphere, then land inside of a gym, then bounce once into the hoop and then have the ball turn into a monkey with a typewriter. It can be done, I swear all I need is time.
-jk
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Is he stupid or something?
So you know how sometimes when you have to go #2 badly, as you get closer to the bathroom it gets more and more unbearable? So when you're near the toilet you must suddenly rip down your pants before an accident happens. I heard somewhere that this phenomenon was psychological. I mean, it makes sense..you are close to the bathroom so your body thinks it's ready to go so it starts preparing you to go or something.
Well I always consider myself above the psychological laws of the human body. (For example, yawning is contagious..so I will purposefully control my attempts to yawn after someone else yawns because I refuse to be controlled by the Matrix.) Anyway, so the last time this happened in the bathroom, I thought to myself, I'm freakin sportsdude101...I can control this..this is all in my head..I can just pretend I'm not in the bathroom and I'll be fine..screw you Sigmund Freud..
...then I pooped my pants.
Just kidding...JUST KIDDING....but this brings me to the Lebron James story. This is what Lebron did to Cleveland. Lebron had to poop very badly and he tried to control it and hold it back. He did not tell Cleveland he was leaving until the very last second. He tried his best to control the situation. He held a 1-hour ESPN special to announce his decision. He promised the proceeds of the show to the Boys & Girls club in Greenwich Connecticut. (Like those kids need new country club memberships? F them, they're all rich, right?) Finally, he made a big mess. He shat all over Ohio, and it even spilled over into NY, NJ, LA, and the rest of the basketball world. What an idiot.
Think about how cruel this was to Cleveland. Lebron grew up in Ohio, went to HS there, played in the NBA in CLE for 7 years. Then there's speculation that he's leaving for Miami. It's all over ESPN. Why did Ohioans still believe he would re-sign? Because of that 1 hour television special. Why would he go on National TV just to tell Cleveland to F off? He can't be THAT dumb..but he was. He was cruel and heartless.
I'm okay with it though. At first I was a little angry, but now I have a new team to hate and root against heavily for the next 6 years. If they win? Well, they're all frontrunners and none of the big 3 was brave enough to take on the challenge alone. Congrats, aholes. There is no Michael Jordan discussion anymore. Jordan would have loved more to beat his next best competitor than join him. Lebron is a 6'8, 250 pound pussy.
George Steinbrenner and Bob Sheppard both passed away this week, at the ages of 80 and 99, respectively. Sad week for the Yankees, who lose their primary owner and their PA announcer, respectively. They were beloved by NY and their fans, bringing tough love and just a lovely, classic voice, respectively. They transcended NY, being famous for controversial tactics and an old school baseball mentality, respectively. I have great respect for both, and on a scale of 1-10, I will miss The Boss and The Voice 8 and 8.5, respectively.
Spain won the World Cup, but I was rooting for the Netherlands. Spain is racist remember? Spain basketball in Beijing '08:
Screw those ignorant losers.
Speaking of which, Rev. Jesse Jackson says Cavs owner Dan Gilbert was acting like a "slave owner" after his comments about Lebron. I didn't even want to acknowledge this crap because I think people like him just say these outlandish things to get in the public eye. But if Lebron is like a slave, then sign me up! $110 million over 6 years for playing basketball professionally with charter jets, limos, bling? Man, I feel bad for him..can we get a Slave fund set up for Lebron?
Anyway, the lasting image for the World Cup 2010 to me will be those annoying vuvuzelas. Here is the youtube clip of the week:
Vuvuzela guy cheers for everything:
Interesting Sporcle Quiz:
Billionaire Alumni per University
http://www.sporcle.com/games/BCNmania/usuniversitiesbillionaires
10/14
-jk
Well I always consider myself above the psychological laws of the human body. (For example, yawning is contagious..so I will purposefully control my attempts to yawn after someone else yawns because I refuse to be controlled by the Matrix.) Anyway, so the last time this happened in the bathroom, I thought to myself, I'm freakin sportsdude101...I can control this..this is all in my head..I can just pretend I'm not in the bathroom and I'll be fine..screw you Sigmund Freud..
...then I pooped my pants.
Just kidding...JUST KIDDING....but this brings me to the Lebron James story. This is what Lebron did to Cleveland. Lebron had to poop very badly and he tried to control it and hold it back. He did not tell Cleveland he was leaving until the very last second. He tried his best to control the situation. He held a 1-hour ESPN special to announce his decision. He promised the proceeds of the show to the Boys & Girls club in Greenwich Connecticut. (Like those kids need new country club memberships? F them, they're all rich, right?) Finally, he made a big mess. He shat all over Ohio, and it even spilled over into NY, NJ, LA, and the rest of the basketball world. What an idiot.
Think about how cruel this was to Cleveland. Lebron grew up in Ohio, went to HS there, played in the NBA in CLE for 7 years. Then there's speculation that he's leaving for Miami. It's all over ESPN. Why did Ohioans still believe he would re-sign? Because of that 1 hour television special. Why would he go on National TV just to tell Cleveland to F off? He can't be THAT dumb..but he was. He was cruel and heartless.
I'm okay with it though. At first I was a little angry, but now I have a new team to hate and root against heavily for the next 6 years. If they win? Well, they're all frontrunners and none of the big 3 was brave enough to take on the challenge alone. Congrats, aholes. There is no Michael Jordan discussion anymore. Jordan would have loved more to beat his next best competitor than join him. Lebron is a 6'8, 250 pound pussy.
George Steinbrenner and Bob Sheppard both passed away this week, at the ages of 80 and 99, respectively. Sad week for the Yankees, who lose their primary owner and their PA announcer, respectively. They were beloved by NY and their fans, bringing tough love and just a lovely, classic voice, respectively. They transcended NY, being famous for controversial tactics and an old school baseball mentality, respectively. I have great respect for both, and on a scale of 1-10, I will miss The Boss and The Voice 8 and 8.5, respectively.
Spain won the World Cup, but I was rooting for the Netherlands. Spain is racist remember? Spain basketball in Beijing '08:
Screw those ignorant losers.
Speaking of which, Rev. Jesse Jackson says Cavs owner Dan Gilbert was acting like a "slave owner" after his comments about Lebron. I didn't even want to acknowledge this crap because I think people like him just say these outlandish things to get in the public eye. But if Lebron is like a slave, then sign me up! $110 million over 6 years for playing basketball professionally with charter jets, limos, bling? Man, I feel bad for him..can we get a Slave fund set up for Lebron?
Anyway, the lasting image for the World Cup 2010 to me will be those annoying vuvuzelas. Here is the youtube clip of the week:
Vuvuzela guy cheers for everything:
Interesting Sporcle Quiz:
Billionaire Alumni per University
http://www.sporcle.com/games/BCNmania/usuniversitiesbillionaires
10/14
-jk
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Quickly
Conflicting news out there about Lebron's destination. So far Miami, Cleveland, and New York are all "definitely" getting him. We are 24 hours away from separating the truth-tellers from the bull-snappers. Various members of the media as well as other NBA players have put their credibility on the line. Who's gonna be right?
In my mind, there are 3 teams left in play.
Cleveland- If he stays in CLE, he's a loyal guy who loves his hometown.
Miami- If he joins Wade/Bosh who just recently committed to the Heat, he just wants to win.
New York- If he joins this team, he wants the money, the fame, and the power.
I, as well as the rest of NY, am still very hopeful that he will come here. I just don't see why he wants to. Lebron is a smart guy. He knows how he'll be viewed after choosing a team. Everyone will understand if he goes to CLE, he's a homer, and everyone will respect his loyalty. If he goes to Miami, although we'll hate, we'll think that he really wants to win badly and the Heat definitely give him the best chance to. But NY? Everyone will think he just wants the money and the power. NY does not give him the best opportunity to win a championship. NYK fans will love him, which may be enough for him, but Ohio will be devastated, and Miami/Chicago/and many other cities will probably turn on him.
With that said...he better f'in come here or I'm gonna kill him.
In my mind, there are 3 teams left in play.
Cleveland- If he stays in CLE, he's a loyal guy who loves his hometown.
Miami- If he joins Wade/Bosh who just recently committed to the Heat, he just wants to win.
New York- If he joins this team, he wants the money, the fame, and the power.
I, as well as the rest of NY, am still very hopeful that he will come here. I just don't see why he wants to. Lebron is a smart guy. He knows how he'll be viewed after choosing a team. Everyone will understand if he goes to CLE, he's a homer, and everyone will respect his loyalty. If he goes to Miami, although we'll hate, we'll think that he really wants to win badly and the Heat definitely give him the best chance to. But NY? Everyone will think he just wants the money and the power. NY does not give him the best opportunity to win a championship. NYK fans will love him, which may be enough for him, but Ohio will be devastated, and Miami/Chicago/and many other cities will probably turn on him.
With that said...he better f'in come here or I'm gonna kill him.
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Lame
LeBron James is lame. The Chicago Bulls may have moved to the top of the list to land him by trading Kirk Hinrich last week. They opened up room to sign 2 max free agents, meaning they can sign Lebron AND Chris Bosh. This was the big advantage the Knicks had, the fact that they had room to sign 2 megastars. Now that the Bulls can do it, it seems there is no reason for him to come to NY unless he wants some NY poonani (which is still possible).
It also appears that Miami has become a big contender, because if they trade Michael Beasley, they can now sign 3!!! of the megastars. Put Lebron, Wade, Bosh on the same team and the Heat win the championship the next 10 years. They won't have much money to fill out the rest of the roster, but they'll still have Mario Chalmers (a young decent PG) and other minimum contracts. Here is a list of people the Lebron/Wade/Bosh team could play with and still win the championship:
1. Me
2. You
3. Bill Clinton
4. the Little Mermaid
5. Stephen Hawking
6. Helen Keller
7. Carlos
8. Anything that can breathe.
9. Anything that can't breathe.
10. Michael Jackson
You get the point...I hope their ego's get in the way and they don't all sign with the same team, for my Knicks sake. Even if James/Bosh go to the Bulls, that would be a pretty ridiculous team. (Noah, Bosh, Deng, James, Rose) Hopefully Lebron either stays in CLE or comes to NY. That's that. BTW Free Agency begins tonight at midnight tonight! (JULY 1)
Roger Federer lost today in the quarterfinals of Wimbledon. He's 28, so by tennis standards he's past his prime. It looks like it's all over for him, but who knows. I'll still root for him. That's some crazy insight I just gave you.
Joel Zumaya just fractured his elbow a few days ago. He's been injury prone throughout his career, but this one might be the last one. It did NOT look good. Due to STUPID MLB copyrights, I can't find the youtube video, so follow this link, watch the 15 second ad, and enjoy. The video brings a tear to the eye.
http://mlb.mlb.com/news/article.jsp?ymd=20100628&content_id=11706452&vkey=news_det&fext=.jsp&c_id=det
This guy was averaging 99mph on his fastball this year. He's thrown harder than anyone in the league these past few years, and it's just a sad story. Not a real sad story, but a sports sad story.
The World Cup is fast approaching..what?..it's almost over?...I haven't posted in THAT long??... Oh well, I guess I'll just root against Germany and call it a day. Oh, and Brazil is gonna win..unless Spain does. God can't you tell I'm an expert at soccer?
The new Eminem album came out a week ago. I like it. I'm not afraid to say it..he is the greatest white rapper to EVER come out of Detroit. Yeah..I know..bold statement but I really believe it. It's weird that we're all backwards racists a lot of the time. Many people don't think eminem should be considered as a great all-time rapper, but I think if he were black he would be. We cringe at the thought of a white guy holding that title.
When I go to the gym to play basketball, do I want the tall white guy on my team, or the shorter athletic black guy? It's obvious. When we go to a financial consultant, do we prefer the asian guy or the hispanic guy? Duh. Now if were starting a baseball team, we LOVE that hispanic guy. These are the kind of thoughts we all have from time to time but are afraid to talk about unless it's on an anonymous blog which doesn't really work right now because my 5 readers know exactly who I am. Fail.
Youtube Clip of the Week:
Pretty much sums up this blog post. Eminem and basketball.
-jk
It also appears that Miami has become a big contender, because if they trade Michael Beasley, they can now sign 3!!! of the megastars. Put Lebron, Wade, Bosh on the same team and the Heat win the championship the next 10 years. They won't have much money to fill out the rest of the roster, but they'll still have Mario Chalmers (a young decent PG) and other minimum contracts. Here is a list of people the Lebron/Wade/Bosh team could play with and still win the championship:
1. Me
2. You
3. Bill Clinton
4. the Little Mermaid
5. Stephen Hawking
6. Helen Keller
7. Carlos
8. Anything that can breathe.
9. Anything that can't breathe.
10. Michael Jackson
You get the point...I hope their ego's get in the way and they don't all sign with the same team, for my Knicks sake. Even if James/Bosh go to the Bulls, that would be a pretty ridiculous team. (Noah, Bosh, Deng, James, Rose) Hopefully Lebron either stays in CLE or comes to NY. That's that. BTW Free Agency begins tonight at midnight tonight! (JULY 1)
Roger Federer lost today in the quarterfinals of Wimbledon. He's 28, so by tennis standards he's past his prime. It looks like it's all over for him, but who knows. I'll still root for him. That's some crazy insight I just gave you.
Joel Zumaya just fractured his elbow a few days ago. He's been injury prone throughout his career, but this one might be the last one. It did NOT look good. Due to STUPID MLB copyrights, I can't find the youtube video, so follow this link, watch the 15 second ad, and enjoy. The video brings a tear to the eye.
http://mlb.mlb.com/news/article.jsp?ymd=20100628&content_id=11706452&vkey=news_det&fext=.jsp&c_id=det
This guy was averaging 99mph on his fastball this year. He's thrown harder than anyone in the league these past few years, and it's just a sad story. Not a real sad story, but a sports sad story.
The World Cup is fast approaching..what?..it's almost over?...I haven't posted in THAT long??... Oh well, I guess I'll just root against Germany and call it a day. Oh, and Brazil is gonna win..unless Spain does. God can't you tell I'm an expert at soccer?
The new Eminem album came out a week ago. I like it. I'm not afraid to say it..he is the greatest white rapper to EVER come out of Detroit. Yeah..I know..bold statement but I really believe it. It's weird that we're all backwards racists a lot of the time. Many people don't think eminem should be considered as a great all-time rapper, but I think if he were black he would be. We cringe at the thought of a white guy holding that title.
When I go to the gym to play basketball, do I want the tall white guy on my team, or the shorter athletic black guy? It's obvious. When we go to a financial consultant, do we prefer the asian guy or the hispanic guy? Duh. Now if were starting a baseball team, we LOVE that hispanic guy. These are the kind of thoughts we all have from time to time but are afraid to talk about unless it's on an anonymous blog which doesn't really work right now because my 5 readers know exactly who I am. Fail.
Youtube Clip of the Week:
Pretty much sums up this blog post. Eminem and basketball.
-jk
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Come on!
The Blackhawks win the Stanley Cup. An exciting finish to the game in OT. An exciting finish to a good NHL playoffs. Too bad nobody cares.
Stephen Strasburg, the pitching phenom, lived up to the hype in his first major league start. He went 7 innings and struck out 14 batters, including the final 7. People say he's already headed to Cooperstown, but HOLD YOUR HORSES people. People were all over Mark Prior when he first showed up. The same people were all over Kerry's Wood when he first came up. Then they got injured, and neither have been as good since. Can't go crazy too quickly. He's definitely got some sick stuff but I think pitchers are definitely harder to scout than a regular position player. He's got a lot of work to do before I start handing him the keys to MY heart.
Though my life consists of reading and listening to a lot of sports media, I find myself not liking or disagreeing with a lot of stuff. I can't tell if these radio/tv guys make stuff up to get ratings, or they actually believe the poop that comes out of their mouth.
For example, during the regular season ALL you hear about is how good the Cavs are and how LeBron James has surpassed Kobe as the best player in the world. Lebron's gonna win the MVP again, his jumpshot got much better, he's got that winning look, he's a great defender, he can walk on water. Now that he's out of the playoffs and Kobe is in the finals again? All I hear is that Kobe is still the best player by far. Lebron can't hold his jockstrap. Kobe's a winner, Lebron just puts up stats. Kobe is a killer in crunchtime. Lebron is #2.
I'll admit Kobe is better in the clutch than Lebron. LeBron gets passive and shoots too many jumpers when he's really at his best driving to the basket. But LeBron has been better than Kobe for at least 2 years now. And most media people agreed with me until Lebron lost and Kobe kept winning. These people are losers. They are front-runners.
The same thing happens in the playoff series. Before the NBA finals started, the Celtics were favored to win the championship. Suddenly these old guys can play! They are so experienced!
Then they lose Game 1. ZOMG! They are looking so old and tired! Kobe and the Lakers are too good! LAL!!!!
Then they win Game 2. AH!! They have 4 future Hall of Famers and they got the job done! They're gonna win it in Boston!! YAY, I <3 BAWSTON!
Then they lose Game 3. KOBE, FISHER, LENGTH, SIZE, SPEED, WIN!
Please sports media, stop jumping on the bandwagon, you're embarrassing. Not even Iceman (aka Irfan) is that much of a bandwagon jumper...oh wait, he is.
Anyway, on a side note, congrats to whitxly (aka JOY) for finally getting her driver's license. She is an asian woman, so you can imagine how great of an obstacle it must have been to legally obtain this license. Just remember, you are most likely to get a ticket and/or get into an accident within your first 3 months of driving. Since you are also near the age of 21, you are going to be watched closer for drinking and driving. You are also in the high-volume traffic city of New York, where deadly accidents happen every single day. You are also inexperienced, meaning you may feel extra pressure in a tough driving situation......ok now, GOOD LUCK!
Oh, and don't turn into this woman. Check your blind spots!
World Cup starts tomorrow.
Game 4 tonight.
Sporcle Quiz:
Last Cy Young
http://www.sporcle.com/games/Ben/last_cy
18/25
Youtube Clip of the Week:
Classic Simpsons
Have fun with your lives!
-jk
Stephen Strasburg, the pitching phenom, lived up to the hype in his first major league start. He went 7 innings and struck out 14 batters, including the final 7. People say he's already headed to Cooperstown, but HOLD YOUR HORSES people. People were all over Mark Prior when he first showed up. The same people were all over Kerry's Wood when he first came up. Then they got injured, and neither have been as good since. Can't go crazy too quickly. He's definitely got some sick stuff but I think pitchers are definitely harder to scout than a regular position player. He's got a lot of work to do before I start handing him the keys to MY heart.
Though my life consists of reading and listening to a lot of sports media, I find myself not liking or disagreeing with a lot of stuff. I can't tell if these radio/tv guys make stuff up to get ratings, or they actually believe the poop that comes out of their mouth.
For example, during the regular season ALL you hear about is how good the Cavs are and how LeBron James has surpassed Kobe as the best player in the world. Lebron's gonna win the MVP again, his jumpshot got much better, he's got that winning look, he's a great defender, he can walk on water. Now that he's out of the playoffs and Kobe is in the finals again? All I hear is that Kobe is still the best player by far. Lebron can't hold his jockstrap. Kobe's a winner, Lebron just puts up stats. Kobe is a killer in crunchtime. Lebron is #2.
I'll admit Kobe is better in the clutch than Lebron. LeBron gets passive and shoots too many jumpers when he's really at his best driving to the basket. But LeBron has been better than Kobe for at least 2 years now. And most media people agreed with me until Lebron lost and Kobe kept winning. These people are losers. They are front-runners.
The same thing happens in the playoff series. Before the NBA finals started, the Celtics were favored to win the championship. Suddenly these old guys can play! They are so experienced!
Then they lose Game 1. ZOMG! They are looking so old and tired! Kobe and the Lakers are too good! LAL!!!!
Then they win Game 2. AH!! They have 4 future Hall of Famers and they got the job done! They're gonna win it in Boston!! YAY, I <3 BAWSTON!
Then they lose Game 3. KOBE, FISHER, LENGTH, SIZE, SPEED, WIN!
Please sports media, stop jumping on the bandwagon, you're embarrassing. Not even Iceman (aka Irfan) is that much of a bandwagon jumper...oh wait, he is.
Anyway, on a side note, congrats to whitxly (aka JOY) for finally getting her driver's license. She is an asian woman, so you can imagine how great of an obstacle it must have been to legally obtain this license. Just remember, you are most likely to get a ticket and/or get into an accident within your first 3 months of driving. Since you are also near the age of 21, you are going to be watched closer for drinking and driving. You are also in the high-volume traffic city of New York, where deadly accidents happen every single day. You are also inexperienced, meaning you may feel extra pressure in a tough driving situation......ok now, GOOD LUCK!
Oh, and don't turn into this woman. Check your blind spots!
World Cup starts tomorrow.
Game 4 tonight.
Sporcle Quiz:
Last Cy Young
http://www.sporcle.com/games/Ben/last_cy
18/25
Youtube Clip of the Week:
Classic Simpsons
Have fun with your lives!
-jk
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Are you leaving?
The 2010 NBA season is down to their final four, Lakers-Suns and Magic-Celtics.
Only nobody is talking about it. The REAL story is Lebron James and his impending free agency. Where is he going to sign? Many teams in the NBA spent the past few years tanking with lesser talent to clear cap space and make room for this offseason. The offseason that may include names such as Lebron, Dwyane Wade, Chris Bosh, Joe Johnson, Amare Stoudemire, Carlos Boozer, etc.
Obviously the big fish is LeBron. A week ago, I would've told you he's staying in Cleveland and I would've bet anything on it. The Cavs management committed to building a good team around him, they brought in some All-star players, the Cavs had the best record in the league for 2 straight seasons, Lebron won the MVP for the second straight season, and the Cavs were again favorites to win the NBA championship. LeBron he turned around this franchise and the suffering sports city of Cleveland.
...and then the Celtics pwned the Cavs in the second round.
Lebron just didn't look motivated. Game 5, the biggest game of the season, he's at home, series tied 2-2, and he puts up a huge stinker. It's not that he had a bad game. It's not that they lost the game. It's the fact that he looked emotionless, he looked tired, he looked for the very first time like he didn't think his team was good enough. He looked like he wanted to leave. Then they went back to Boston where he put in a little more effort but it wasn't enough. Lebron loses again.
Last year, when the Cavs lost to the Magic in the Conference finals, LeBron didn't shake hands with any of the Magic players, he just stormed off into the locker room. He was appropriately pissed off. This year, he spends time talking to each of the Celtics superstars, then walks off into the locker room, even high-fives some fans, then rips off his jersey. It really looked like the last time he was going to wear that uniform.
Then in the press conference, he said he's going to talk with his people in the offseason and make the decision that's best for them. If I were a Cavs fan watching that interview, I just lost whatever confidence I had in him coming back. He didn't say anything that gave me hope of him re-signing.
Are the Cavs good enough to win? Sure. And that's why I thought he would stay even if they didn't win it all this year. If they lost in the NBA finals or the Conference finals, I thought LeBron would think, "I'll resign with the Cavs cause we're still damn close to winning." Now? It's more like, "ZOMG, we effing lost again with the best regular season record, and we lost in the second round, and we lost to an aging Celtics team, and we won't win again next year unless we make some changes."
Think about it. The past four Cavs seasons: Lost in the NBA Finals, lost in the 2nd round, lost in the Conference finals, lost in the 2nd round. Does that sound like a team that's getting better? Aren't they going in the wrong direction? If you were Lebron James, the best basketball player in the world, would you re-sign with the Cavs and grind out another few seasons with these guys, or get a fresh start somewhere else? He can choose the city, choose the coach, choose his teammates, choose anything, because let's face it, any team would do anything to get him. Any owner or GM would bend over backwards, get on their knees, and maybe even blow him. (Pucker up, Donnie Walsh...do it for the fans of New York.)
Advantages of staying in CLE: He's lived there his whole life, his kids and baby mama lives there, his childhood friends live there. He claims to love it there. He can potentially get Cleveland the championship that the city is dying for. He can build his legacy in one place, which is important in the greatest of all-time discussion.
Ok, now for some possible destinations:
1. New York Knicks- Other than Cleveland, they may have the best chance to win the Lebron sweepstakes. NY always had an appeal to LeBron, who wants to become the next sports-billionaire. NY is the biggest city, and I think he'll surpass Jeter/A-Rod to be the biggest sports star here. He can make the Knicks relevant again, which is good for the NBA.
Disadvantages? They suck. LeBron alone is not enough. Lebron and another superstar might not be enough. Does he wanna come to a rebuilding team? If he REALLY wants to win, do the Knicks give him the best chance?
2. Chicago Bulls- They have a great, young team. Also a big market. He's always looked up to and admired Jordan.
Disadvantages? I'm not so sure he wants to leave a legacy in the shadow of Jordan. If you think the Jordan comparisons are sickening now, it'll be even worse in Chicago. If he wins anything less than 6 championships, he'll be the 2nd best player in Chicago. If he doesn't win a championship, he's not even in the discussion.
3. Miami Heat- If he goes there and DWade re-signs, you have the 2 of the best players in the NBA on the same team. They could win a bunch of championships together. Miami has awesome weather year-round. Decent market.
Disadvantages? He goes to the team that Wade has owned the past 7 years. Wade has already won a ring. Does Lebron come in to play second fiddle? Can they share the ball?
4. NJ Nets- They're moving to Brooklyn. They have a billionaire owner. Big Market. Good, young players. LeBron is good friends with part-owner Jay-Z.
Disadvantages? They ain't in Brooklyn yet, and won't be for 1-3 years. NY will always be Knick-town. They just had one of the worst seasons ever.
I think any team with money has a chance, but these are the more likely teams to get him.
Well, as if the appeal of these cities weren't great enough, Cleveland fans had to make this video.
We Are LeBron Video - Watch more Funny Videos
If I were Lebron, I'm outta there real fast after watching that..
Damn I talked a lot about that LeBron dude. I'm done.
Sporcle:
Logos:
http://www.sporcle.com/games/rockgolf/how_logo_can_you_gogo
16/25
Top Websites:
http://www.sporcle.com/games/cake/US_Top_Websites
8/99
Youtube Clip of the Week:
Celtics fans taunt Lebron about his free agency status.
A strange tongue-slip.
-jk
Only nobody is talking about it. The REAL story is Lebron James and his impending free agency. Where is he going to sign? Many teams in the NBA spent the past few years tanking with lesser talent to clear cap space and make room for this offseason. The offseason that may include names such as Lebron, Dwyane Wade, Chris Bosh, Joe Johnson, Amare Stoudemire, Carlos Boozer, etc.
Obviously the big fish is LeBron. A week ago, I would've told you he's staying in Cleveland and I would've bet anything on it. The Cavs management committed to building a good team around him, they brought in some All-star players, the Cavs had the best record in the league for 2 straight seasons, Lebron won the MVP for the second straight season, and the Cavs were again favorites to win the NBA championship. LeBron he turned around this franchise and the suffering sports city of Cleveland.
...and then the Celtics pwned the Cavs in the second round.
Lebron just didn't look motivated. Game 5, the biggest game of the season, he's at home, series tied 2-2, and he puts up a huge stinker. It's not that he had a bad game. It's not that they lost the game. It's the fact that he looked emotionless, he looked tired, he looked for the very first time like he didn't think his team was good enough. He looked like he wanted to leave. Then they went back to Boston where he put in a little more effort but it wasn't enough. Lebron loses again.
Last year, when the Cavs lost to the Magic in the Conference finals, LeBron didn't shake hands with any of the Magic players, he just stormed off into the locker room. He was appropriately pissed off. This year, he spends time talking to each of the Celtics superstars, then walks off into the locker room, even high-fives some fans, then rips off his jersey. It really looked like the last time he was going to wear that uniform.
Then in the press conference, he said he's going to talk with his people in the offseason and make the decision that's best for them. If I were a Cavs fan watching that interview, I just lost whatever confidence I had in him coming back. He didn't say anything that gave me hope of him re-signing.
Are the Cavs good enough to win? Sure. And that's why I thought he would stay even if they didn't win it all this year. If they lost in the NBA finals or the Conference finals, I thought LeBron would think, "I'll resign with the Cavs cause we're still damn close to winning." Now? It's more like, "ZOMG, we effing lost again with the best regular season record, and we lost in the second round, and we lost to an aging Celtics team, and we won't win again next year unless we make some changes."
Think about it. The past four Cavs seasons: Lost in the NBA Finals, lost in the 2nd round, lost in the Conference finals, lost in the 2nd round. Does that sound like a team that's getting better? Aren't they going in the wrong direction? If you were Lebron James, the best basketball player in the world, would you re-sign with the Cavs and grind out another few seasons with these guys, or get a fresh start somewhere else? He can choose the city, choose the coach, choose his teammates, choose anything, because let's face it, any team would do anything to get him. Any owner or GM would bend over backwards, get on their knees, and maybe even blow him. (Pucker up, Donnie Walsh...do it for the fans of New York.)
Advantages of staying in CLE: He's lived there his whole life, his kids and baby mama lives there, his childhood friends live there. He claims to love it there. He can potentially get Cleveland the championship that the city is dying for. He can build his legacy in one place, which is important in the greatest of all-time discussion.
Ok, now for some possible destinations:
1. New York Knicks- Other than Cleveland, they may have the best chance to win the Lebron sweepstakes. NY always had an appeal to LeBron, who wants to become the next sports-billionaire. NY is the biggest city, and I think he'll surpass Jeter/A-Rod to be the biggest sports star here. He can make the Knicks relevant again, which is good for the NBA.
Disadvantages? They suck. LeBron alone is not enough. Lebron and another superstar might not be enough. Does he wanna come to a rebuilding team? If he REALLY wants to win, do the Knicks give him the best chance?
2. Chicago Bulls- They have a great, young team. Also a big market. He's always looked up to and admired Jordan.
Disadvantages? I'm not so sure he wants to leave a legacy in the shadow of Jordan. If you think the Jordan comparisons are sickening now, it'll be even worse in Chicago. If he wins anything less than 6 championships, he'll be the 2nd best player in Chicago. If he doesn't win a championship, he's not even in the discussion.
3. Miami Heat- If he goes there and DWade re-signs, you have the 2 of the best players in the NBA on the same team. They could win a bunch of championships together. Miami has awesome weather year-round. Decent market.
Disadvantages? He goes to the team that Wade has owned the past 7 years. Wade has already won a ring. Does Lebron come in to play second fiddle? Can they share the ball?
4. NJ Nets- They're moving to Brooklyn. They have a billionaire owner. Big Market. Good, young players. LeBron is good friends with part-owner Jay-Z.
Disadvantages? They ain't in Brooklyn yet, and won't be for 1-3 years. NY will always be Knick-town. They just had one of the worst seasons ever.
I think any team with money has a chance, but these are the more likely teams to get him.
Well, as if the appeal of these cities weren't great enough, Cleveland fans had to make this video.
We Are LeBron Video - Watch more Funny Videos
If I were Lebron, I'm outta there real fast after watching that..
Damn I talked a lot about that LeBron dude. I'm done.
Sporcle:
Logos:
http://www.sporcle.com/games/rockgolf/how_logo_can_you_gogo
16/25
Top Websites:
http://www.sporcle.com/games/cake/US_Top_Websites
8/99
Youtube Clip of the Week:
Celtics fans taunt Lebron about his free agency status.
A strange tongue-slip.
-jk
Thursday, May 6, 2010
New Layout?
Big stories pass by so quickly. Just a little while ago Tiger was all over the news, then Ben Roethlisberger saved Tiger, then the lacrosse kid saved Ben, and now Lawrence Taylor takes the spotlight. There's always a new story out there. You can basically create the next big sports scandal Mad-Libs style.
(Insert Athlete Name) was out late at night at a (club/bar/hotel). He uses terrible judgment and ends up (raping a girl/drinking and driving/cheating on his wife/all of the above).
I'm tired of those losers. These people take money and fame for granted. These bums have money and power and they still feel the need to commit stupid crimes that mostly stem from the need to get their dicks wet. Stop breaking the law, ok?
I finally saw the movie 2012. It is a really really bad movie. Like, all-time bad. Basically everyone dies except a select few consisting of really rich people and John Cusack. Cusack and company get extremely lucky in not dying about 1000 times in the movie, and the suspense created is pretty much laughable.
When 2012 comes and nature decides to unleash itself on the world, I will probably just accept death. The things that the protagonist goes through to survive is not worth it. I am too lazy to survive.
Also, is it just me or does the weather really seem to be getting weird? I am not sure if theories such as 2012 and global warming and stuff make me more aware of the weather, or if it's actually changing. Not only is it cold/hot in unpredictable patterns, but without looking at any statistics I can guess that there was more snow this winter than most past winters.
Bears are also moving east. Bears, beets, battlestar galactica. We are finding more bears in New Jersey. We have volcanoes, we have tornadoes, we have potatoes, we have tomatoes. Maybe all of this is building up to the destruction of Earth. I bet the government knows what will happen and they are preparing to launch themselves into space on their own planet that we don't know about while we all turn into ice or something. They are probably killing off any astronomers who discover this new planet and promising safety to the scientists working on their special spacecraft. They are distracting the people with silly things such as the economy, terrorism, and Lady Gaga.
I've been watching most of the NBA Playoffs. I am seriously disappointed. 3 of the 4 series in the 2nd round are sweeps. How sad. I really thought the Suns/Spurs series would be a classic, as would Lakers/Jazz. The Lakers/Suns series better be damn good or I am going to boycott the NBA for 1 day.
I don't even know why I follow the NBA so closely. Obviously football rules America, most people consider it their favorite sport and hate most of the other pro sports. Middle America prefers the college games over the pro games. I am definitely in the minority. My Knicks suck ass right now. Why do I care who wins the championship? Why do I waste my time?
..oh that's right, I have no life. Damn.
Sporcle Quiz:
A little Calculus?
http://www.sporcle.com/games/meeeeeeewith7es/mancillas
Clip of the Week:
Some funny stuff if you make it through the whole thing. Starts getting real funny after the 2 minute mark.
-jk
(Insert Athlete Name) was out late at night at a (club/bar/hotel). He uses terrible judgment and ends up (raping a girl/drinking and driving/cheating on his wife/all of the above).
I'm tired of those losers. These people take money and fame for granted. These bums have money and power and they still feel the need to commit stupid crimes that mostly stem from the need to get their dicks wet. Stop breaking the law, ok?
I finally saw the movie 2012. It is a really really bad movie. Like, all-time bad. Basically everyone dies except a select few consisting of really rich people and John Cusack. Cusack and company get extremely lucky in not dying about 1000 times in the movie, and the suspense created is pretty much laughable.
When 2012 comes and nature decides to unleash itself on the world, I will probably just accept death. The things that the protagonist goes through to survive is not worth it. I am too lazy to survive.
Also, is it just me or does the weather really seem to be getting weird? I am not sure if theories such as 2012 and global warming and stuff make me more aware of the weather, or if it's actually changing. Not only is it cold/hot in unpredictable patterns, but without looking at any statistics I can guess that there was more snow this winter than most past winters.
Bears are also moving east. Bears, beets, battlestar galactica. We are finding more bears in New Jersey. We have volcanoes, we have tornadoes, we have potatoes, we have tomatoes. Maybe all of this is building up to the destruction of Earth. I bet the government knows what will happen and they are preparing to launch themselves into space on their own planet that we don't know about while we all turn into ice or something. They are probably killing off any astronomers who discover this new planet and promising safety to the scientists working on their special spacecraft. They are distracting the people with silly things such as the economy, terrorism, and Lady Gaga.
I've been watching most of the NBA Playoffs. I am seriously disappointed. 3 of the 4 series in the 2nd round are sweeps. How sad. I really thought the Suns/Spurs series would be a classic, as would Lakers/Jazz. The Lakers/Suns series better be damn good or I am going to boycott the NBA for 1 day.
I don't even know why I follow the NBA so closely. Obviously football rules America, most people consider it their favorite sport and hate most of the other pro sports. Middle America prefers the college games over the pro games. I am definitely in the minority. My Knicks suck ass right now. Why do I care who wins the championship? Why do I waste my time?
..oh that's right, I have no life. Damn.
Sporcle Quiz:
A little Calculus?
http://www.sporcle.com/games/meeeeeeewith7es/mancillas
Clip of the Week:
Some funny stuff if you make it through the whole thing. Starts getting real funny after the 2 minute mark.
-jk
Sunday, May 2, 2010
Bloop
Super Saver won the Kentucky Derby. Horse Racing is pretty much the most pointless sporting event in the world unless you gamble on it. These millionaires buy horses for hundreds of thousands of dollars (that's a guess) by looking at their race history, their parents health history, their parents race history, etc. The extent of the background checks must be FBI-like. Then when they get the horse, they train it extensively, give it the best food (like super golden carrots?) and make them go race for them. They also hire the best midgets to ride them. If you don't think jockey's have skill, the same guy who won the Derby this year won the past 3 out of 4 derbies with a different horse. It is basically like NASCAR driving but not at all.
They hype up each leg of the Triple Crown, especially the Kentucky Derby, for months. People call it "the fastest two minutes in sports". Well, maybe it's the fastest two minutes in sports because it is only TWO MINUTES. What other sport takes just TWO minutes? The waffle game? Is that even a sport? It's a team game sure, but not a sport. I was able to tune into the Derby just a couple of minutes before it began this year, and fortunately it was over in just 5 minutes after that. Horse racing will never appeal to me. I don't know why I even bother watching. It's like watching a marathon race. Except the opposite. My metaphors are not so good today.
Still in the middle of the NBA playoffs. Here are my Power Rankings:
1. Jazz- They looked great so far. Deron Williams is the best PG in the league and he's going crazy.
2. Spurs- Beat the Mavs in 6 games, but really beat them handily. Beat them like the Spurs were 13 year-old boys and the Mavs were their genitals.
3. Cavs- Lebron may have a hurt elbow, but the Cavs are still definitely the team to beat in the east. Shaq looks really, really old by the way.
4. Lakers- The Lakers looked vulnerable. They were less than a second away from a Game 7 as the top seed. They are still the most talented, but they gotta get it together.
5. Magic- Looked crappy. They swept a good Bobcats team, but Dwight and Vince were horrible. Not sure if winning despite their troubles makes them a good team or a bad one.
6. Suns- They were supposed to win, and win quickly. But it took 6 games. Now they face the Spurs. It'll be tough but fun.
7. Celtics- They actually looked good but I hate them so I will be bias since this is my blog.
8. Hawks/Bucks- They will lose to the Magic. Doesn't matter who wins their series.
This is just ranked based on first round observations. I don't necessarily think the Lakers will lose to the Jazz, or the Spurs will definitely beat the Suns. In fact, both series will probably go the distance, and hopefully we will get some competitive and exciting games.
The refs have been absolutely horrible in these playoffs.
I hate that I got that video from Bill Simmons, but it really shows one example of how bad the refs have been. Some refs are like 60-70 years old and they run up and down the court chasing superstar athletes while looking for fouls and violations though they probably can't see shit because, yeah, they are old as eff. Get better officials, NBA.
Skipping Sporcle for today but here are 2 Youtube Clips of the Week:
Both videos have been flying around the internets. Maybe you've seen them?
Bango performs stunt:
4 Chords:
Talk to you later!
-jk
They hype up each leg of the Triple Crown, especially the Kentucky Derby, for months. People call it "the fastest two minutes in sports". Well, maybe it's the fastest two minutes in sports because it is only TWO MINUTES. What other sport takes just TWO minutes? The waffle game? Is that even a sport? It's a team game sure, but not a sport. I was able to tune into the Derby just a couple of minutes before it began this year, and fortunately it was over in just 5 minutes after that. Horse racing will never appeal to me. I don't know why I even bother watching. It's like watching a marathon race. Except the opposite. My metaphors are not so good today.
Still in the middle of the NBA playoffs. Here are my Power Rankings:
1. Jazz- They looked great so far. Deron Williams is the best PG in the league and he's going crazy.
2. Spurs- Beat the Mavs in 6 games, but really beat them handily. Beat them like the Spurs were 13 year-old boys and the Mavs were their genitals.
3. Cavs- Lebron may have a hurt elbow, but the Cavs are still definitely the team to beat in the east. Shaq looks really, really old by the way.
4. Lakers- The Lakers looked vulnerable. They were less than a second away from a Game 7 as the top seed. They are still the most talented, but they gotta get it together.
5. Magic- Looked crappy. They swept a good Bobcats team, but Dwight and Vince were horrible. Not sure if winning despite their troubles makes them a good team or a bad one.
6. Suns- They were supposed to win, and win quickly. But it took 6 games. Now they face the Spurs. It'll be tough but fun.
7. Celtics- They actually looked good but I hate them so I will be bias since this is my blog.
8. Hawks/Bucks- They will lose to the Magic. Doesn't matter who wins their series.
This is just ranked based on first round observations. I don't necessarily think the Lakers will lose to the Jazz, or the Spurs will definitely beat the Suns. In fact, both series will probably go the distance, and hopefully we will get some competitive and exciting games.
The refs have been absolutely horrible in these playoffs.
I hate that I got that video from Bill Simmons, but it really shows one example of how bad the refs have been. Some refs are like 60-70 years old and they run up and down the court chasing superstar athletes while looking for fouls and violations though they probably can't see shit because, yeah, they are old as eff. Get better officials, NBA.
Skipping Sporcle for today but here are 2 Youtube Clips of the Week:
Both videos have been flying around the internets. Maybe you've seen them?
Bango performs stunt:
4 Chords:
Talk to you later!
-jk
Monday, April 19, 2010
Rehab
It's interesting to see how quickly the Tiger story went away now that Ben Roethlisberger is a rapist...seriously, he hasn't been convicted officially but the details of that story are scary. Many stories about celebrities being sued for sexual harassment are written off as nobodies looking to get rich, but I think this one is different. This is why:
1. This is not the first time he was almost convicted of pushing things too far.
2. Ben is a douche. Everyone knows it, including Steelers fans. If you are 28 years old, you should not be hanging out in college bars.
3. The details are fuzzy, but this is what I've gathered. Ben takes chick into bathroom and pulls out his penis. Both are drunk. (missing details) Girl leaves bathroom, tells friend they need to call the cops. Off-duty Sergeant is there and curses girl out, then suspiciously resigns a few days later. The girl drops the charges because there is not enough evidence against Ben. Meanwhile, there is no DNA evidence because the bathroom was scrubbed clean a few hours after Ben left the bar. (again, suspicious) Other girls come out to talk about Ben's sexual aggression.
There is that one side of the bill where you say this person is trying to get rich, but I'm on the other side on this one. Ben used his celebrity status to get out of trouble. Just like Kobe, just like O.J., just like Ray Lewis. If they can't settle out of court, they hire the best lawyers and they win their cases. I still don't know if any of them did it.....but YES, they did it.
The NBA Playoffs started. It seems like this season flew by really quickly for some reason. The Cavs are clear favorites to win the championship, but the Magic are really close in terms of talent. And the West is loaded. I can see any team come out of the West except the Blazers and Thunder.
The career paths between Lebron James and Michael Jordan are lining up. Lebron is in his 7th season, and he's going to win his 2nd MVP award. Jordan won his 2nd MVP in his 7th season. Both started to hear a little pressure from the fans that they were great individual talents but can't win the big one. Jordan obviously silenced the critics by winning his first that year, then 5 more. Can Lebron follow?
The Yankees are hot, and so are the Rays. The Red Sox are cold. It's still too early. Chan Ho Park has diarrhea though. It's okay, we've all given up runs once in a while.
Congrats to Ubaldo Jimenez, who pitched the first no-hitter in Rockies history. On the same night, the Mets-Cardinals played a 20 inning 6 hour-53 minute game. Brings a question to my brain. Which game would you rather be in attendance at? A regular-season no-hitter pitched by a player on your favorite team, or Game 7 of the World Series that involves your favorite team but you don't know the outcome of? In the first case, you are guaranteed a win and history is set. You can brag about being there your whole life. The Mets still haven't pitched one in their existence. It's a pretty rare occurrence, and you'll be there front and center. However...that's just a regular season game. Game 7 of the World Series is for all the marbles. And that's why I'd choose it by a hair over the no-hitter. I'd take the gamble. I'll risk the heartbreak of my team losing in game 7. Though that would REALLY suck.
Sporcle:
50 point games in the 90s
http://www.sporcle.com/games/cedarites/50pts1990s
30/44
Youtube Clip of the week:
If you haven't seen it yet, Eastbound and Down is a pretty funny show about a former baseball player. Don't watch it if you get offended easily. It is like It's Always Sunny but worse because it's HBO. The following is a short clip.
-jk
1. This is not the first time he was almost convicted of pushing things too far.
2. Ben is a douche. Everyone knows it, including Steelers fans. If you are 28 years old, you should not be hanging out in college bars.
3. The details are fuzzy, but this is what I've gathered. Ben takes chick into bathroom and pulls out his penis. Both are drunk. (missing details) Girl leaves bathroom, tells friend they need to call the cops. Off-duty Sergeant is there and curses girl out, then suspiciously resigns a few days later. The girl drops the charges because there is not enough evidence against Ben. Meanwhile, there is no DNA evidence because the bathroom was scrubbed clean a few hours after Ben left the bar. (again, suspicious) Other girls come out to talk about Ben's sexual aggression.
There is that one side of the bill where you say this person is trying to get rich, but I'm on the other side on this one. Ben used his celebrity status to get out of trouble. Just like Kobe, just like O.J., just like Ray Lewis. If they can't settle out of court, they hire the best lawyers and they win their cases. I still don't know if any of them did it.....but YES, they did it.
The NBA Playoffs started. It seems like this season flew by really quickly for some reason. The Cavs are clear favorites to win the championship, but the Magic are really close in terms of talent. And the West is loaded. I can see any team come out of the West except the Blazers and Thunder.
The career paths between Lebron James and Michael Jordan are lining up. Lebron is in his 7th season, and he's going to win his 2nd MVP award. Jordan won his 2nd MVP in his 7th season. Both started to hear a little pressure from the fans that they were great individual talents but can't win the big one. Jordan obviously silenced the critics by winning his first that year, then 5 more. Can Lebron follow?
The Yankees are hot, and so are the Rays. The Red Sox are cold. It's still too early. Chan Ho Park has diarrhea though. It's okay, we've all given up runs once in a while.
Congrats to Ubaldo Jimenez, who pitched the first no-hitter in Rockies history. On the same night, the Mets-Cardinals played a 20 inning 6 hour-53 minute game. Brings a question to my brain. Which game would you rather be in attendance at? A regular-season no-hitter pitched by a player on your favorite team, or Game 7 of the World Series that involves your favorite team but you don't know the outcome of? In the first case, you are guaranteed a win and history is set. You can brag about being there your whole life. The Mets still haven't pitched one in their existence. It's a pretty rare occurrence, and you'll be there front and center. However...that's just a regular season game. Game 7 of the World Series is for all the marbles. And that's why I'd choose it by a hair over the no-hitter. I'd take the gamble. I'll risk the heartbreak of my team losing in game 7. Though that would REALLY suck.
Sporcle:
50 point games in the 90s
http://www.sporcle.com/games/cedarites/50pts1990s
30/44
Youtube Clip of the week:
If you haven't seen it yet, Eastbound and Down is a pretty funny show about a former baseball player. Don't watch it if you get offended easily. It is like It's Always Sunny but worse because it's HBO. The following is a short clip.
-jk
Thursday, April 8, 2010
It's all over
Ultimate Fail:
I can't even describe how dumb and funny that was...looks like something out of the UConn-Stanford championship game.
-jk
I can't even describe how dumb and funny that was...looks like something out of the UConn-Stanford championship game.
-jk
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
A Gem
Duke wins the NCAA Championship. Congrats to those cocky, elitist assholes. I think the reason most people hate Duke is because of the way the media portrays them, especially Dick Vitale. Oh, god, Duke does it the RIGHT WAY. They are STUDENT-athletes, they play with PASSION, they play as a team, etc. It's hard to keep race out of this argument. Duke primarily recruits white guys, and white guys who play well are considered "gritty" and "team players", while black guys are "athletic". So because Duke is filled with these white guys, the media is on their nutsacks because they don't have these athletic monsters who just overpower their opponents. I hate Duke for a lot of the reasons why people hate Harvard or Yale. These guys just think they are much better than the rest of us. I was reading the other day a story about how a Duke alumni emailed Elton Brand in 1999 when he decided to leave Duke after his sophomore season. Here is the full email:
I graduated from Duke last May and just wanted to express my disgust for your decision to leave the Duke program after only two years. As an alum, not only do I hold the school in high regard, but the basketball program as well, especially since both have deservedly garnered such a great deal of respect for their accomplishments.
As part of our basketball program, you represent Duke as a whole. We are first and foremost an academic school, you clearly did not belong at Duke in the first place if this was the extent of your commitment to Duke and a college education in general. You have not only insulted the current students who are putting in four years at a school they love, but also the thousands of alumni who have realized the value of a Duke education and what an honor and privilege it was to be there for four years.
If you do not realize the opportunity you has infront of you to play for Coach K and at the same time attain a Duke diploma, then that is certainly your loss. I just wish that you has spared us the notion that you were continuing in the tradition of being a Duke student-athlete, in emphasizing excellence in both academics and athletics. You will not be considered part of the Duke family, in my mind as well as many others. You have by no means proved yourself worthy of that title.
Sincerely,
Jennifer Taylor
Hmm...so imagine you are a college sophomore and you have the opportunity to become the #1 draft pick in the NBA. You are most likely going to play basketball for the rest of your life, but it would also be nice to finish your degree at a great University. If there was any doubt at the time, I think this email made his decision for him.
Elton Brand went on to become the #1 draft pick in the NBA, became the Co-rookie of the year that year, and emailed that girl back with this response.
Thank you very much, for reminding me of the reason why I left Duke. People like you can not and will not ever understand my situation. I'm sure daddy worked very hard to send your rich self to college. While real people struggle. I would also like to extend an invitation for you not to waste your or my time ever agin. Never being considered a part of your posh group of yuppies really hurts me to the heart. Yeah, right. Because I don't care about you or your alumni.
Sincerely, Elton Brand #42 NBA
pwned! Fook duke!
UConn women had a scare last night, but managed to come back and win their second consecutive national championship. Congrats to them, but nobody really cares anymore.
Chris Bosh fractured his face in an NBA game yesterday. Ouch.
Time for two crazy plays:
This pitcher gets hit with a line drive straight to the kneecap. He actually SHATTERS his kneecap but he still has the mindset to flip the ball to first base before he rolls over in pain.
Mark Buehrle of the White Sox makes an unbelievable play. Kicks the ball out, chases it down, flips it between the legs without looking, and the first baseman barehands it. Crazy. Which is your favorite?
Tiger Woods is coming back tomorrow at the Masters! The press conference was weird.
Donovan Mcnabb to the Redskins. What a move! I think this helps both teams. The Eagles had 3 quarterbacks, Mcnabb is getting old, they have a young team, they need to pass the baton to their young gun, Kevin Kolb. The Redskins just need a quarterback not named Jason Campbell. I think McNabb was never fully appreciated in Philly. This guy was never accepted from the day he was drafted. McNabb was awesome, led the team to the NFC Championship many times, once to the Superbowl. He's hall-of-fame material.
That's all for now! I'm mailing it in today, so I'm skipping the sporcle.
Youtube Clip of the Week:
Steve Nash so funny.
-jk
I graduated from Duke last May and just wanted to express my disgust for your decision to leave the Duke program after only two years. As an alum, not only do I hold the school in high regard, but the basketball program as well, especially since both have deservedly garnered such a great deal of respect for their accomplishments.
As part of our basketball program, you represent Duke as a whole. We are first and foremost an academic school, you clearly did not belong at Duke in the first place if this was the extent of your commitment to Duke and a college education in general. You have not only insulted the current students who are putting in four years at a school they love, but also the thousands of alumni who have realized the value of a Duke education and what an honor and privilege it was to be there for four years.
If you do not realize the opportunity you has infront of you to play for Coach K and at the same time attain a Duke diploma, then that is certainly your loss. I just wish that you has spared us the notion that you were continuing in the tradition of being a Duke student-athlete, in emphasizing excellence in both academics and athletics. You will not be considered part of the Duke family, in my mind as well as many others. You have by no means proved yourself worthy of that title.
Sincerely,
Jennifer Taylor
Hmm...so imagine you are a college sophomore and you have the opportunity to become the #1 draft pick in the NBA. You are most likely going to play basketball for the rest of your life, but it would also be nice to finish your degree at a great University. If there was any doubt at the time, I think this email made his decision for him.
Elton Brand went on to become the #1 draft pick in the NBA, became the Co-rookie of the year that year, and emailed that girl back with this response.
Thank you very much, for reminding me of the reason why I left Duke. People like you can not and will not ever understand my situation. I'm sure daddy worked very hard to send your rich self to college. While real people struggle. I would also like to extend an invitation for you not to waste your or my time ever agin. Never being considered a part of your posh group of yuppies really hurts me to the heart. Yeah, right. Because I don't care about you or your alumni.
Sincerely, Elton Brand #42 NBA
pwned! Fook duke!
UConn women had a scare last night, but managed to come back and win their second consecutive national championship. Congrats to them, but nobody really cares anymore.
Chris Bosh fractured his face in an NBA game yesterday. Ouch.
Time for two crazy plays:
This pitcher gets hit with a line drive straight to the kneecap. He actually SHATTERS his kneecap but he still has the mindset to flip the ball to first base before he rolls over in pain.
Mark Buehrle of the White Sox makes an unbelievable play. Kicks the ball out, chases it down, flips it between the legs without looking, and the first baseman barehands it. Crazy. Which is your favorite?
Tiger Woods is coming back tomorrow at the Masters! The press conference was weird.
Donovan Mcnabb to the Redskins. What a move! I think this helps both teams. The Eagles had 3 quarterbacks, Mcnabb is getting old, they have a young team, they need to pass the baton to their young gun, Kevin Kolb. The Redskins just need a quarterback not named Jason Campbell. I think McNabb was never fully appreciated in Philly. This guy was never accepted from the day he was drafted. McNabb was awesome, led the team to the NFC Championship many times, once to the Superbowl. He's hall-of-fame material.
That's all for now! I'm mailing it in today, so I'm skipping the sporcle.
Youtube Clip of the Week:
Steve Nash so funny.
-jk
Saturday, April 3, 2010
Pan! Pan!
There are so many things happening in sports at this time of year. However, instead of updating more, I have chosen to update less. Kind of a big F-YOU to my readers, right? Well, I'll try to make it up with this super-post. I hope you guys understand it's tough to entertain an entire nation with my busy schedule filled with basketball and modern warfare.
A few thoughts first: Is it just me or do you also hate when you're on the bus and suddenly you see a handicap or wheelchaired person waiting to get on? It makes me feel guilty feeling those feelings, but it adds like, 5-10 minutes on your trip depending on how many people have to move from their seats, how lazy the bus driver is, how slow the bus platform moves, and whether the person is in a remote control wheelchair or a walker. Also, double the time if that person gets off before you too. I feel like such an ass thinking about it but I can't help it. (Clearly it is WAYY more of an inconvenience for me to wait an extra 5 minutes when this person has to deal with his/her handicap EVERY SECOND of the day.) It's just one of those weird situations where you are conflicted inside but you control it by distracting yourself. Sometimes to avoid feeling bad I think of something much more fun and random, like golf, or sometimes I'll think of something much dumber and worse, like Tiger Woods.
Another self-inner-guilt-conflict (yeahhh that's the psychological term) is when you jump to stereotypical racist thoughts when in a certain situation. You see an Asian getting a traffic ticket, you think, "typical". Indian person smelling bad? "Man, which ones don't?" It's not that these thoughts are always circling my mind, but when the stereotype fits, you tend to notice it. And in a diverse America with a black leader and all, I really don't think we've gotten any less racist as a whole. If anything, we may have gotten worse. Some of the things you read on the internet by anonymous posters are incredibly offensive and mind-bogglingly insane. Entertaining, though. Makes you wonder who these people are. Not everyone is a fat old perv who stalks little kids. Some of these people are normal-looking modern family type people.
This also applies to sexual stuff. We're in the middle of the "that's what she said" era, and you can't say anything without it being taken out of context. Everyone's mind is in the gutter. I guess I don't mind though because it always leaves me smiling and satisfied..
Onto some sports:
Like I said, this is an exciting time for even the casual sports fan, as the NCAA Tournament is coming to a close, baseball starts TOMORROW night, the Masters begin next week, NBA and NHL seasons wrapping up with playoffs looming, the NFL draft coming up later this month, and much more.
The Final Four begins tonight. Butler vs. Michigan State and Duke vs. West Virginia. Winners meet in the Championship game Monday night. Both should be great games and each team has a great coach leading the way. Many think that the winner of Duke/WV will be the eventual champion, and I would tend to agree except for the fact that I've proven that I am no expert when it comes to sports.
The Yankees and Red Sox kick off the baseball season tomorrow night on ESPN. I think they're both clear favorites once again to make the playoffs and possibly do some damage when they get there. The Red Sox definitely improved their defense with the addition of Mike Cameron and Adrian Beltre, but I don't think their offense is even close to that of the Yankees. The Yankees, even with a few changes, stayed the same in terms of talent. They added Vazquez, who was great last year, but now comes back to the toughest division in baseball, the AL East. They lost Damon and Matsui, but gained Nick Johnson and Curtis Granderson, among others. The Yankees have the most talent but can they all stay healthy? Can Vazquez adjust? Can Sabathia and Burnett keep it going, or will their arms eventually fall off? How will Nick Johnson do in the 2 spot, and Cano in the 5 spot? Will the Yankee pitchers continue to pitch worse to Posada?
In the end, I think talent will win out and they'll win the division with the Red Sox and the Rays fighting for the Wild Card (with the Red Sox getting it yet again). I think the White Sox will win the AL Central, and the Mariners will win the AL West (though Texas is good). My AL MVP is A-Rod and my AL Cy Young goes to Felix Hernandez of the Mariners.
In the NL, things are a bit more simple. The Mets suck and I think they'll finish 4th in the division behind the Phillies, Braves, Marlins. I think the Braves are going to be really really really good and they'll eventually snatch the Wild Card. The Phillies will win the division, the Cardinals will win the Central, and the Rockies will win the West (though the D-Backs and Dodgers will be close). The NL MVP will be Pooholes, and the NL Cy Young winner will be Roy Halladay.
One thing about the Rays. Their farm system is amazing. They have a small window right now because some of their core players are probably leaving after the next few seasons, but they still have great great prospects to replace them. David Price was a lights out prospect 2 years ago and there was so much hype that he was going to be amazing in the big leagues. Now he is only the 3rd best pitching prospect on the Rays. If they spent money and resigned their players, they could be a threat every year.
The Masters will be a huge draw this year, with even the non-sports fan possibly tuning in to get a glimpse of Tiger's return. The press conference should be a treat, where the people working for the Masters will attempt to stop the reporters from asking anything non-golf related to Tiger, and the reporters will attempt to find a way to work in the non-golf stuff into their golf questions. It should be fun watching the reporters talk very slowly and cautiously. ("Tiger...so how have you...adjusted your game..and your habits..on and off the course? How have you prepared...differently from the past tournaments?..AH, screw it, How could you BONE ALL THOSE GIRLS YOU D-BAG?")
A running joke that's become common among my friends is the Asian accent. Russell Peters perfected it, and we've all tried imitating him. "I geeb you good deal. Surtee-fou fifty." Pablo Francisco is also very good, especially at imitating Jackie Chan.
It's pretty much a done deal that the NCAA tournament is expanding to 96 teams next year. Most people are opposed to this. Why change something that's been so good? People love the 65 team bracket, and expanding to 96 is going to make it even harder to have a good bracket. The tournament is going to be watered down even more. I hate the NCAA because everything is driven only by $$$. People hate the current college football system, yet they refuse to implement a playoff. People don't want to change the college basketball system, yet they refuse to keep it the way it is. The only way to get them to listen to the public is if we stop watching...and that won't happen because we are stupid noobs.
By the way, if you ever have a suggestion or a question or you want to write a post yourself, feel free to let me know. I'm definitely open to any sporcle quiz or youtube clip or any questions/comments. It'll get YOU more involved, and it will motivate me to update more often. jkang0825@gmail.com
Ok, on to the good stuff,
Sporcle Quizzes of the Day:
Most Common 2-letter words:
http://www.sporcle.com/games/boyochels/twoletterwords
19/25. I always seem to have a brain freeze when put under pressure by these sporcle quizzes.
Athletes by Picture:
http://www.sporcle.com/games/Wexicant/athlete_names
15/16.
Things you should know:
http://www.sporcle.com/games/gateau/youshouldknowthis
40/50. Annoying quiz.
Youtube Clip of the Week:
From the NCAA Women's tournament comes Xavier vs. Stanford. Game is tied 53-53 with 20 seconds to go. Girl from Xavier misses 2 WIDE OPEN layups and Stanford goes ahead and wins the game. Heartbreaking. If the women were trying to gain respect in the game of basketball, this really set them back. This is Division I basketball, mind you.
I like the sound effects added.
Enjoy the games/events coming up!
-jk
A few thoughts first: Is it just me or do you also hate when you're on the bus and suddenly you see a handicap or wheelchaired person waiting to get on? It makes me feel guilty feeling those feelings, but it adds like, 5-10 minutes on your trip depending on how many people have to move from their seats, how lazy the bus driver is, how slow the bus platform moves, and whether the person is in a remote control wheelchair or a walker. Also, double the time if that person gets off before you too. I feel like such an ass thinking about it but I can't help it. (Clearly it is WAYY more of an inconvenience for me to wait an extra 5 minutes when this person has to deal with his/her handicap EVERY SECOND of the day.) It's just one of those weird situations where you are conflicted inside but you control it by distracting yourself. Sometimes to avoid feeling bad I think of something much more fun and random, like golf, or sometimes I'll think of something much dumber and worse, like Tiger Woods.
Another self-inner-guilt-conflict (yeahhh that's the psychological term) is when you jump to stereotypical racist thoughts when in a certain situation. You see an Asian getting a traffic ticket, you think, "typical". Indian person smelling bad? "Man, which ones don't?" It's not that these thoughts are always circling my mind, but when the stereotype fits, you tend to notice it. And in a diverse America with a black leader and all, I really don't think we've gotten any less racist as a whole. If anything, we may have gotten worse. Some of the things you read on the internet by anonymous posters are incredibly offensive and mind-bogglingly insane. Entertaining, though. Makes you wonder who these people are. Not everyone is a fat old perv who stalks little kids. Some of these people are normal-looking modern family type people.
This also applies to sexual stuff. We're in the middle of the "that's what she said" era, and you can't say anything without it being taken out of context. Everyone's mind is in the gutter. I guess I don't mind though because it always leaves me smiling and satisfied..
Onto some sports:
Like I said, this is an exciting time for even the casual sports fan, as the NCAA Tournament is coming to a close, baseball starts TOMORROW night, the Masters begin next week, NBA and NHL seasons wrapping up with playoffs looming, the NFL draft coming up later this month, and much more.
The Final Four begins tonight. Butler vs. Michigan State and Duke vs. West Virginia. Winners meet in the Championship game Monday night. Both should be great games and each team has a great coach leading the way. Many think that the winner of Duke/WV will be the eventual champion, and I would tend to agree except for the fact that I've proven that I am no expert when it comes to sports.
The Yankees and Red Sox kick off the baseball season tomorrow night on ESPN. I think they're both clear favorites once again to make the playoffs and possibly do some damage when they get there. The Red Sox definitely improved their defense with the addition of Mike Cameron and Adrian Beltre, but I don't think their offense is even close to that of the Yankees. The Yankees, even with a few changes, stayed the same in terms of talent. They added Vazquez, who was great last year, but now comes back to the toughest division in baseball, the AL East. They lost Damon and Matsui, but gained Nick Johnson and Curtis Granderson, among others. The Yankees have the most talent but can they all stay healthy? Can Vazquez adjust? Can Sabathia and Burnett keep it going, or will their arms eventually fall off? How will Nick Johnson do in the 2 spot, and Cano in the 5 spot? Will the Yankee pitchers continue to pitch worse to Posada?
In the end, I think talent will win out and they'll win the division with the Red Sox and the Rays fighting for the Wild Card (with the Red Sox getting it yet again). I think the White Sox will win the AL Central, and the Mariners will win the AL West (though Texas is good). My AL MVP is A-Rod and my AL Cy Young goes to Felix Hernandez of the Mariners.
In the NL, things are a bit more simple. The Mets suck and I think they'll finish 4th in the division behind the Phillies, Braves, Marlins. I think the Braves are going to be really really really good and they'll eventually snatch the Wild Card. The Phillies will win the division, the Cardinals will win the Central, and the Rockies will win the West (though the D-Backs and Dodgers will be close). The NL MVP will be Pooholes, and the NL Cy Young winner will be Roy Halladay.
One thing about the Rays. Their farm system is amazing. They have a small window right now because some of their core players are probably leaving after the next few seasons, but they still have great great prospects to replace them. David Price was a lights out prospect 2 years ago and there was so much hype that he was going to be amazing in the big leagues. Now he is only the 3rd best pitching prospect on the Rays. If they spent money and resigned their players, they could be a threat every year.
The Masters will be a huge draw this year, with even the non-sports fan possibly tuning in to get a glimpse of Tiger's return. The press conference should be a treat, where the people working for the Masters will attempt to stop the reporters from asking anything non-golf related to Tiger, and the reporters will attempt to find a way to work in the non-golf stuff into their golf questions. It should be fun watching the reporters talk very slowly and cautiously. ("Tiger...so how have you...adjusted your game..and your habits..on and off the course? How have you prepared...differently from the past tournaments?..AH, screw it, How could you BONE ALL THOSE GIRLS YOU D-BAG?")
A running joke that's become common among my friends is the Asian accent. Russell Peters perfected it, and we've all tried imitating him. "I geeb you good deal. Surtee-fou fifty." Pablo Francisco is also very good, especially at imitating Jackie Chan.
It's pretty much a done deal that the NCAA tournament is expanding to 96 teams next year. Most people are opposed to this. Why change something that's been so good? People love the 65 team bracket, and expanding to 96 is going to make it even harder to have a good bracket. The tournament is going to be watered down even more. I hate the NCAA because everything is driven only by $$$. People hate the current college football system, yet they refuse to implement a playoff. People don't want to change the college basketball system, yet they refuse to keep it the way it is. The only way to get them to listen to the public is if we stop watching...and that won't happen because we are stupid noobs.
By the way, if you ever have a suggestion or a question or you want to write a post yourself, feel free to let me know. I'm definitely open to any sporcle quiz or youtube clip or any questions/comments. It'll get YOU more involved, and it will motivate me to update more often. jkang0825@gmail.com
Ok, on to the good stuff,
Sporcle Quizzes of the Day:
Most Common 2-letter words:
http://www.sporcle.com/games/boyochels/twoletterwords
19/25. I always seem to have a brain freeze when put under pressure by these sporcle quizzes.
Athletes by Picture:
http://www.sporcle.com/games/Wexicant/athlete_names
15/16.
Things you should know:
http://www.sporcle.com/games/gateau/youshouldknowthis
40/50. Annoying quiz.
Youtube Clip of the Week:
From the NCAA Women's tournament comes Xavier vs. Stanford. Game is tied 53-53 with 20 seconds to go. Girl from Xavier misses 2 WIDE OPEN layups and Stanford goes ahead and wins the game. Heartbreaking. If the women were trying to gain respect in the game of basketball, this really set them back. This is Division I basketball, mind you.
I like the sound effects added.
Enjoy the games/events coming up!
-jk
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Madness in March
Tim Tebow, former Florida QB, is basically the greatest human being to walk on Earth. Big, strong, handsome quarterback who just leads his team to wins. He isn't projected to be great in the NFL, because of some mechanical issues with throwing and his style of play. He's very religious. Many people love him, but because he is portrayed as godly by the media, many people also hate him.
So anyway, Tebow and other NFL prospects were about to take the Wonderlic exam at the combine when Tebow decided to ask everyone to join him in a prayer. He was promptly interrupted by a "STFU", followed by laughter in the room. ZOMG, right? I don't feel bad for him though, because if he expected these immature, probably non-religious athletes to follow him in prayer and not make fun of him then he is an idiot. I don't think Tebow is a smart guy. In fact, his Wonerlic score was pretty low. So I'm gonna go ahead and take a guess as to what his prayer would have said:
Dear God,
Me and my friends are here to take a test,
please help us do better than the rest,
Since a grade of 24 is an average score,
I'm asking for a solid 25 or more,
And please help us become NFL leaders,
Although we ain't such good Wonderlic readers,
Do the right thing and help me again,
So I can be a star, Amen.
Don't you just hate him already? Man, I do.
Random Video Break:
baseball samurai
Uploaded by tanaka223. - Explore international webcam videos.
The Dan Patrick Show was promoting the new movie coming out, "Hot Tub Time Machine", and they were thinking of times in sports history where you'd want to go relive if you had a time machine. My top 5 moments and honorable mentions:
HM: Ali-Frazier at Madison Square Garden, Ali-Foreman. I would have liked to go because they were such important sporting events, but they don't make the top 5 because boxing is just not that big of a sport to me.
1936 Olympics, and any Abraham Lincoln wrestling match also make the list.
5. 1980 Olympic Hockey game. USA defeats the Soviet Union in what is regarded as the biggest upset in sports history. The professionals and the hockey powerhouse in the USSR defeated by a bunch of amateurs from the US who go on to win the gold.
4. Tiger Woods first Masters win in 1997. I'd go, watch him win, then have an intervention afterwards. Of course to get to him I'd have to dress up as a tall blonde with big breasts and a fat ass but whatever.
3. Lou Gehrig's retirement speech. "..today...I consider myself...the luckiest man on the face of the earth." Musta been crazy to be there at that time in Yankee stadium.
2. Wilt Chamberlain's 100 point game. We'll never see anything like that again, so I guess it would be cool to watch it happen live, right? Especially since we don't have any footage of the game now.
1b. Giants-Patriots, Superbowl XLII. I know it happened recently, but I could relive this moment anytime. My favorite football team beating my least favorite team in the biggest game, with the Giants being huge underdogs and coming back to win it.
1a. Michael Jordan's "final shot". 1998 against the Jazz. I just want to see him play again in his prime. Too young to watch and appreciate at the time.
Where/when would you go if you had a hot tub time machine? It doesn't have to be a sporting event..and try to follow the rule that you can't change anything. i.e. don't say, I wanna go back and put all my money into Apple, or I want to go back and invent mousepads, or I want to go back and abort Hitler's mom.
Phil Hughes is the Yankees 5th Starter. I don't know if the Yankees are making the right decision here. For years, they've implemented the "Joba Rules" so that Joba Chamberlain would not be worn out in his early years, so that this year he could finally become a starting pitcher and take on a regular starters' workload. I don't get it. They limited Joba so much to the point that people made fun of the Yankees, and now they don't even make him the starter? They give it to Hughes? Don't they now have to worry about making Hughes pitch too many innings? Are we going to have a "Hughes Rules" (or a "Phil-osophy")? The Yankees have mishandled this situation and if it doesn't work out, I will never forgive them for one whole year. *GASP*
The Sweet 16 begins tonight. I'm rooting for Cornell the rest of the way. Cornell beating Kentucky tonight would be awesome. I've summoned my buddy Franklin (AD) to break down the teams.
Ok guys. First of all, it ain't easy being white and it ain't easy being brown. Now, let's break down the teams:
Kentucky, big time coach, big time players- many of which are going to the NBA after this.
Cornell, 8 seniors on the team, next year they will be rebuilding, everyone on the team is going to graduate, and they will go on to do great things. The entire team lives together in a house off-campus (gay?), they are true teammates and friends, they will not go to the NBA.
Kentucky, kids from the ghetto looking to get rich. Had single mothers who were probably strippers.
Cornell, kids who probably had lots of advantages growing up, well-off parents who gave them everything they needed.
Kentucky, kids with one or no parents who didn't receive child support and had to work hard at the local street parks. Probably sold drugs to make ends meet.
Cornell, kids who got to play in leagues and gyms from the time they were born. They will try valiantly to keep the black man down.
Let's go Kentucky!..wait, I mean let's go Cornell!
uh..thanks Franklin.
Sporcle:
Cupcake Games Part 2:
http://www.sporcle.com/games/gameby_cupcakeii.php
6/30. Much harder than the first.
Top 10 Homeruns in the 2000s:
http://www.sporcle.com/games/sjcredsox985/homerun2000s
62/107
Youtube (not necessarily) Clip of the week:
Josh Smith's game winning dunk at the buzzer!
Go Big Red tonight!
-jk
So anyway, Tebow and other NFL prospects were about to take the Wonderlic exam at the combine when Tebow decided to ask everyone to join him in a prayer. He was promptly interrupted by a "STFU", followed by laughter in the room. ZOMG, right? I don't feel bad for him though, because if he expected these immature, probably non-religious athletes to follow him in prayer and not make fun of him then he is an idiot. I don't think Tebow is a smart guy. In fact, his Wonerlic score was pretty low. So I'm gonna go ahead and take a guess as to what his prayer would have said:
Dear God,
Me and my friends are here to take a test,
please help us do better than the rest,
Since a grade of 24 is an average score,
I'm asking for a solid 25 or more,
And please help us become NFL leaders,
Although we ain't such good Wonderlic readers,
Do the right thing and help me again,
So I can be a star, Amen.
Don't you just hate him already? Man, I do.
Random Video Break:
baseball samurai
Uploaded by tanaka223. - Explore international webcam videos.
The Dan Patrick Show was promoting the new movie coming out, "Hot Tub Time Machine", and they were thinking of times in sports history where you'd want to go relive if you had a time machine. My top 5 moments and honorable mentions:
HM: Ali-Frazier at Madison Square Garden, Ali-Foreman. I would have liked to go because they were such important sporting events, but they don't make the top 5 because boxing is just not that big of a sport to me.
1936 Olympics, and any Abraham Lincoln wrestling match also make the list.
5. 1980 Olympic Hockey game. USA defeats the Soviet Union in what is regarded as the biggest upset in sports history. The professionals and the hockey powerhouse in the USSR defeated by a bunch of amateurs from the US who go on to win the gold.
4. Tiger Woods first Masters win in 1997. I'd go, watch him win, then have an intervention afterwards. Of course to get to him I'd have to dress up as a tall blonde with big breasts and a fat ass but whatever.
3. Lou Gehrig's retirement speech. "..today...I consider myself...the luckiest man on the face of the earth." Musta been crazy to be there at that time in Yankee stadium.
2. Wilt Chamberlain's 100 point game. We'll never see anything like that again, so I guess it would be cool to watch it happen live, right? Especially since we don't have any footage of the game now.
1b. Giants-Patriots, Superbowl XLII. I know it happened recently, but I could relive this moment anytime. My favorite football team beating my least favorite team in the biggest game, with the Giants being huge underdogs and coming back to win it.
1a. Michael Jordan's "final shot". 1998 against the Jazz. I just want to see him play again in his prime. Too young to watch and appreciate at the time.
Where/when would you go if you had a hot tub time machine? It doesn't have to be a sporting event..and try to follow the rule that you can't change anything. i.e. don't say, I wanna go back and put all my money into Apple, or I want to go back and invent mousepads, or I want to go back and abort Hitler's mom.
Phil Hughes is the Yankees 5th Starter. I don't know if the Yankees are making the right decision here. For years, they've implemented the "Joba Rules" so that Joba Chamberlain would not be worn out in his early years, so that this year he could finally become a starting pitcher and take on a regular starters' workload. I don't get it. They limited Joba so much to the point that people made fun of the Yankees, and now they don't even make him the starter? They give it to Hughes? Don't they now have to worry about making Hughes pitch too many innings? Are we going to have a "Hughes Rules" (or a "Phil-osophy")? The Yankees have mishandled this situation and if it doesn't work out, I will never forgive them for one whole year. *GASP*
The Sweet 16 begins tonight. I'm rooting for Cornell the rest of the way. Cornell beating Kentucky tonight would be awesome. I've summoned my buddy Franklin (AD) to break down the teams.
Ok guys. First of all, it ain't easy being white and it ain't easy being brown. Now, let's break down the teams:
Kentucky, big time coach, big time players- many of which are going to the NBA after this.
Cornell, 8 seniors on the team, next year they will be rebuilding, everyone on the team is going to graduate, and they will go on to do great things. The entire team lives together in a house off-campus (gay?), they are true teammates and friends, they will not go to the NBA.
Kentucky, kids from the ghetto looking to get rich. Had single mothers who were probably strippers.
Cornell, kids who probably had lots of advantages growing up, well-off parents who gave them everything they needed.
Kentucky, kids with one or no parents who didn't receive child support and had to work hard at the local street parks. Probably sold drugs to make ends meet.
Cornell, kids who got to play in leagues and gyms from the time they were born. They will try valiantly to keep the black man down.
Let's go Kentucky!..wait, I mean let's go Cornell!
uh..thanks Franklin.
Sporcle:
Cupcake Games Part 2:
http://www.sporcle.com/games/gameby_cupcakeii.php
6/30. Much harder than the first.
Top 10 Homeruns in the 2000s:
http://www.sporcle.com/games/sjcredsox985/homerun2000s
62/107
Youtube (not necessarily) Clip of the week:
Josh Smith's game winning dunk at the buzzer!
Go Big Red tonight!
-jk
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Busted
My bracket officially is dead. I have a gift of writing terrible predictions that will not happen. To restore some credibility to my sports knowledge, I am only making conservative forecasts from now on.
- By April 2010, we will have an NCAA tournament Champion.
- The New York Knicks will NOT make the playoffs this year.
- The 2010 World Cup will be won by a team from South America, Europe, or Asia.
There must be some kind of psychological theory that explains jinxes and superstitions. Why do people, especially sports fans, believe in this stuff? I am definitely guilty of this. At times, when watching a close game, I won't move in my chair for a long time. I'll clench my fists until my hands start sweating. I'll rock back and forth in my chair. I'll try not to blink. I'll start announcing each players name as they come up. I'll take a sip of my drink every time something good happens. Sometimes, I'll even hit the TV screen where the opposing players are and gently stroke where the good guys are....I am retarded. Obviously I KNOW that I will not change anything. But I do it anyway. Aren't we all a little crazy? What makes YOU crazy?
Like I said, my bracket is done, with Kansas (my national champion) being stunned by Northern Iowa last night. There were plenty of upsets already in the tournament. If by now, you don't think it's all luck, here's yet another stat for you:
The first day of the tournament was Thursday, where they played just HALF of the 1st round. Out of 3 million brackets filled out on one site, there were only 20 perfect brackets left. 20/3000000. After just half of the 1st round.
This is why anyone can win a bracket pool. Because the more you know, the less you really know. That's what is good and bad about the NCAA basketball tournament.
With Kansas losing, it gave many teams hope to be able to win the whole thing. Because the big guns like Kentucky, Syracuse, and West Virginia were scared of Kansas...they aren't scared of Northern Iowa. The middle of the pack schools like Baylor, Butler, and Tennessee suddenly become in the contenders mix.
What is better for the tournament, the big upsets or the higher seeds advancing? We all love the Cinderella story, but they ruin our brackets. Does the casual fan continue to care if their bracket is dead? And do we really want a Final 4 with some crappy, lower seeded teams? Personally, I'd rather watch Kentucky vs. Kansas than New Mexico vs. Butler.
On a side note, Syracuse and Kentucky are looking real good...but I won't make any predictions.
Tiger Woods announced he's officially coming back for the Masters, starting in early April. Is he the favorite to win it? There is so much uncertainty about where his golf game is, but if you had to gamble on one guy to win it, isn't it still him?
In other news, his text messages to one of his mistresses (a porn star) was released. And they are dirrrty. EXTREMELY dirty. You will never look at him the same way again. Some pieces of the transcript below:
Tiger:Sent: 03:32 PM 08/29/2009:
I have no idea. I would love to have the ability to make you sore
Tiger:Sent: 03:35 PM 08/29/2009:
In a week. I will try to wear you out
Tiger:Sent: 03:36 PM 08/29/2009:
After i cum you better start sucking my cock to get it hard
Tiger:Sent: 04:07 PM 08/29/2009:
You are my fucking whore
Tiger:Sent: 04:08 PM 08/29/2009:
Hold you down while i choke you and Fuck that ass that i own
Tiger:Sent: 04:10 PM 08/29/2009:
Then im going to tell you to shut the Fuck up while i slap your face and pull your hair for making noise
Tiger:Sent: 05:26 PM 08/29/2009:
Next time i see you, you better beg and if you don't do it right i will slap, spank, bite and fuck you till mercy
I was definitely a little surprised initially. Not because he was "fucking the ass that he owns", or "choking the whore", but rather because he was stupid enough to think that these messages could never be released to the public. I also didn't expect him to be so graphic. DAMN, they are graphic. Even for the internet.
It brought up a question in my mind: Were people always so sexually kinky throughout the history of time?
You might think that with the advancement of the internet and the progression of porn, people started to get bored with the regular stuff and starting inventing new ways to get down. New fetishes were created, things relating to anal, poop, pee, animals, insects, etc.
But maybe these things were done way before the internet, right? It is possible. Because the internet brought about TWO very important things for those crazy fools: an outlet to talk about weird stuff they like, and anonymity when talking about it. So who knows, maybe George Washington was just like Tiger Woods...we would never know. I'm sure cavemen/women didn't get it right the first few times.
The Minnesota Twins All-Star closer Joe Nathan will miss the season with an elbow injury. This is a major loss for them, and could kill their playoff chances this year. This usually wouldn't be blog-worthy, but I'm just excited about baseball season.
That's all for now!
Sporcle quizzes of the day:
Missing word in Song Title:
http://www.sporcle.com/games/song_fillintheblank.php
23/42.
Forrest Gump:
http://www.sporcle.com/games/Frasier/the_gump_quiz
18/23.
Actors with Highest Grossing Movies:
http://www.sporcle.com/games/SixFootFive/grossing_total
13/50. No Marlon Wayans?!
Youtube Clip of the Week:
What's the Capital of Thailand?
Who's the GM of the Lakers?
A: Bangkok
A2: Mitch KUPCHAK (cup-check!)
Enjoy the games, readers. Be back soon.
-jk
- By April 2010, we will have an NCAA tournament Champion.
- The New York Knicks will NOT make the playoffs this year.
- The 2010 World Cup will be won by a team from South America, Europe, or Asia.
There must be some kind of psychological theory that explains jinxes and superstitions. Why do people, especially sports fans, believe in this stuff? I am definitely guilty of this. At times, when watching a close game, I won't move in my chair for a long time. I'll clench my fists until my hands start sweating. I'll rock back and forth in my chair. I'll try not to blink. I'll start announcing each players name as they come up. I'll take a sip of my drink every time something good happens. Sometimes, I'll even hit the TV screen where the opposing players are and gently stroke where the good guys are....I am retarded. Obviously I KNOW that I will not change anything. But I do it anyway. Aren't we all a little crazy? What makes YOU crazy?
Like I said, my bracket is done, with Kansas (my national champion) being stunned by Northern Iowa last night. There were plenty of upsets already in the tournament. If by now, you don't think it's all luck, here's yet another stat for you:
The first day of the tournament was Thursday, where they played just HALF of the 1st round. Out of 3 million brackets filled out on one site, there were only 20 perfect brackets left. 20/3000000. After just half of the 1st round.
This is why anyone can win a bracket pool. Because the more you know, the less you really know. That's what is good and bad about the NCAA basketball tournament.
With Kansas losing, it gave many teams hope to be able to win the whole thing. Because the big guns like Kentucky, Syracuse, and West Virginia were scared of Kansas...they aren't scared of Northern Iowa. The middle of the pack schools like Baylor, Butler, and Tennessee suddenly become in the contenders mix.
What is better for the tournament, the big upsets or the higher seeds advancing? We all love the Cinderella story, but they ruin our brackets. Does the casual fan continue to care if their bracket is dead? And do we really want a Final 4 with some crappy, lower seeded teams? Personally, I'd rather watch Kentucky vs. Kansas than New Mexico vs. Butler.
On a side note, Syracuse and Kentucky are looking real good...but I won't make any predictions.
Tiger Woods announced he's officially coming back for the Masters, starting in early April. Is he the favorite to win it? There is so much uncertainty about where his golf game is, but if you had to gamble on one guy to win it, isn't it still him?
In other news, his text messages to one of his mistresses (a porn star) was released. And they are dirrrty. EXTREMELY dirty. You will never look at him the same way again. Some pieces of the transcript below:
Tiger:Sent: 03:32 PM 08/29/2009:
I have no idea. I would love to have the ability to make you sore
Tiger:Sent: 03:35 PM 08/29/2009:
In a week. I will try to wear you out
Tiger:Sent: 03:36 PM 08/29/2009:
After i cum you better start sucking my cock to get it hard
Tiger:Sent: 04:07 PM 08/29/2009:
You are my fucking whore
Tiger:Sent: 04:08 PM 08/29/2009:
Hold you down while i choke you and Fuck that ass that i own
Tiger:Sent: 04:10 PM 08/29/2009:
Then im going to tell you to shut the Fuck up while i slap your face and pull your hair for making noise
Tiger:Sent: 05:26 PM 08/29/2009:
Next time i see you, you better beg and if you don't do it right i will slap, spank, bite and fuck you till mercy
I was definitely a little surprised initially. Not because he was "fucking the ass that he owns", or "choking the whore", but rather because he was stupid enough to think that these messages could never be released to the public. I also didn't expect him to be so graphic. DAMN, they are graphic. Even for the internet.
It brought up a question in my mind: Were people always so sexually kinky throughout the history of time?
You might think that with the advancement of the internet and the progression of porn, people started to get bored with the regular stuff and starting inventing new ways to get down. New fetishes were created, things relating to anal, poop, pee, animals, insects, etc.
But maybe these things were done way before the internet, right? It is possible. Because the internet brought about TWO very important things for those crazy fools: an outlet to talk about weird stuff they like, and anonymity when talking about it. So who knows, maybe George Washington was just like Tiger Woods...we would never know. I'm sure cavemen/women didn't get it right the first few times.
The Minnesota Twins All-Star closer Joe Nathan will miss the season with an elbow injury. This is a major loss for them, and could kill their playoff chances this year. This usually wouldn't be blog-worthy, but I'm just excited about baseball season.
That's all for now!
Sporcle quizzes of the day:
Missing word in Song Title:
http://www.sporcle.com/games/song_fillintheblank.php
23/42.
Forrest Gump:
http://www.sporcle.com/games/Frasier/the_gump_quiz
18/23.
Actors with Highest Grossing Movies:
http://www.sporcle.com/games/SixFootFive/grossing_total
13/50. No Marlon Wayans?!
Youtube Clip of the Week:
What's the Capital of Thailand?
Who's the GM of the Lakers?
A: Bangkok
A2: Mitch KUPCHAK (cup-check!)
Enjoy the games, readers. Be back soon.
-jk
Monday, March 15, 2010
Bracket Knowledge
As promised, here are some helpful hints on how to fill out your NCAA bracket and become the Champion of your office or school.
1. You suck. Understand that you suck. You will not have a perfect bracket. Even if you watched every college basketball game of all time, studied the history of basketball, knew every team's weaknesses and strengths, got close to every coach and player and their families, and became God of the Universe, you will not have a perfect bracket. Odds of perfection is 9,223,372,036,854,775,808 to 1. If every person on earth filled out 10 million different brackets each, the odds are less than 1% that just one person will have a perfect bracket. (I did not do any of that math, I copy-and-pasted that crap from another website)
The fun about March Madness is that the casual or even non-sports fan can easily defeat the sports-aficionado with their version of the bracket. It is mostly LUCK-BASED. If you see some douche like myself say they know everything and they are going to win the pool, in reality it is likely that they will lose to a geeky Joe Schmo, or even worse...a girl. *gasp*
2. Once you figure out that you are an idiot, you are ready to pick.
3. So if you've never seen a bracket, it is split up into 4 sections with 16 teams each. Thus there are 4 #1 seeds, 4 #2 seeds, etc. A #1 seed has never lost in the first round. EVER. So obviously don't pick them to lose unless you are an idiot. (Of course according to my rules, you can't fill out a bracket until you are one so catch-22)
4. There is always a 12 seed over a 5 seed upset. This is almost always standard. You will hear this from anyone. Last year, we had all 5 seeds advancing for the first time in a very long time. This won't happen again. We WILL have a 12 over a 5 this year! That is a sportsdude101 Guarantee.
5. All four #1 seeds DO NOT make it to the final 4. Most of the time we have only 2 or 3 that make it to the final 4.
6. Pick some upsets. Everyone has a system of picking the upsets. Some people go by the players, some by the coaches, some by the basketball program's history, etc. These are the experts' ways. That's why they lose to their wives/girlfriends. Because they think they are so smart. They over analyze, and once you do that, you just confuse yourself more. The casual fan will pick by the school name, the school mascot, the school colors, and they will generally do much better.
7. When in doubt, go with the higher seed. Not sure about Texas and their stellar offense and how it will hold up against Wake Forest? Oh, what? You didn't even know the W in W Forest stood for 'Wake'? Go with the #8 over the #9. Trust that the committee who put this bracket together in this way knew what they were doing.
8. The better teams win out in the end. Sure we have some Cinderella teams in the beginning pulling some miracle upsets...but in the end, you will see the better teams win in the later rounds. In the past 21 years, we have not had a champion that was lower than a 4 seed. Most Final 4 teams are going to be 4 seed or higher.
Thoughts on this year: Duke did not deserve their #1 seed. I don't think they will make it out of their quarter of the bracket. However, Syracuse and Duke have a much easier road to make it out than Kansas and Kentucky do. Ohio State is very good, I think they will give Kansas a run for their money. West Virginia will definitely give Kentucky a good fight if they end up meeting in the Elite 8.
Pick a lot of #1 seeds and #2 seeds, I think they are all pretty strong this year. #8/#9 seeds are a coin toss for the first round. Stick to just one 12 over a 5, maybe Cornell over Temple? (though Temple is pretty good) Maybe one 13 over a 4, but only if you really like their Mascot or something. Picking a 6 seed to make it to the Sweet 16 may be a good idea, like Notre Dame or something.
My list of teams that can win the whole thing for this year are: Kansas, Ohio State, Kentucky, West Virginia, Syracuse, Villanova. I wouldn't be surprised if any of these teams win, and I would be surprised if any other team does, including Duke.
My Final 4 picks are Kansas, West Virginia, Syracuse, and Villanova. My final pick is Kansas over West Virginia in the finals, 74-70.
So..while filling out your brackets, as you see these weird schools that you've never heard of (Baylor?! I hardly know her!), remember my tips and you will succeed.
And if you choose to copy my picks, beware. I don't know anything.
Sporcle Time:
The Office Millionaire:
http://www.sporcle.com/games/mybeaglebelle/millionaire_office_roast_dwight
Lost on $500,000. Screw the new episodes, they suck.
Oscar Winning Movies minus Vowels:
http://www.sporcle.com/games/GameShow2Go/BAVOscar
7/20.
Youtube Clip of the Week:
Steve Francis: riding the bench, but still picking apart the defenders.
Digging for knowledge.
Picking his NCAA bracket.
Good Luck Everyone!
-jk
1. You suck. Understand that you suck. You will not have a perfect bracket. Even if you watched every college basketball game of all time, studied the history of basketball, knew every team's weaknesses and strengths, got close to every coach and player and their families, and became God of the Universe, you will not have a perfect bracket. Odds of perfection is 9,223,372,036,854,775,808 to 1. If every person on earth filled out 10 million different brackets each, the odds are less than 1% that just one person will have a perfect bracket. (I did not do any of that math, I copy-and-pasted that crap from another website)
The fun about March Madness is that the casual or even non-sports fan can easily defeat the sports-aficionado with their version of the bracket. It is mostly LUCK-BASED. If you see some douche like myself say they know everything and they are going to win the pool, in reality it is likely that they will lose to a geeky Joe Schmo, or even worse...a girl. *gasp*
2. Once you figure out that you are an idiot, you are ready to pick.
3. So if you've never seen a bracket, it is split up into 4 sections with 16 teams each. Thus there are 4 #1 seeds, 4 #2 seeds, etc. A #1 seed has never lost in the first round. EVER. So obviously don't pick them to lose unless you are an idiot. (Of course according to my rules, you can't fill out a bracket until you are one so catch-22)
4. There is always a 12 seed over a 5 seed upset. This is almost always standard. You will hear this from anyone. Last year, we had all 5 seeds advancing for the first time in a very long time. This won't happen again. We WILL have a 12 over a 5 this year! That is a sportsdude101 Guarantee.
5. All four #1 seeds DO NOT make it to the final 4. Most of the time we have only 2 or 3 that make it to the final 4.
6. Pick some upsets. Everyone has a system of picking the upsets. Some people go by the players, some by the coaches, some by the basketball program's history, etc. These are the experts' ways. That's why they lose to their wives/girlfriends. Because they think they are so smart. They over analyze, and once you do that, you just confuse yourself more. The casual fan will pick by the school name, the school mascot, the school colors, and they will generally do much better.
7. When in doubt, go with the higher seed. Not sure about Texas and their stellar offense and how it will hold up against Wake Forest? Oh, what? You didn't even know the W in W Forest stood for 'Wake'? Go with the #8 over the #9. Trust that the committee who put this bracket together in this way knew what they were doing.
8. The better teams win out in the end. Sure we have some Cinderella teams in the beginning pulling some miracle upsets...but in the end, you will see the better teams win in the later rounds. In the past 21 years, we have not had a champion that was lower than a 4 seed. Most Final 4 teams are going to be 4 seed or higher.
Thoughts on this year: Duke did not deserve their #1 seed. I don't think they will make it out of their quarter of the bracket. However, Syracuse and Duke have a much easier road to make it out than Kansas and Kentucky do. Ohio State is very good, I think they will give Kansas a run for their money. West Virginia will definitely give Kentucky a good fight if they end up meeting in the Elite 8.
Pick a lot of #1 seeds and #2 seeds, I think they are all pretty strong this year. #8/#9 seeds are a coin toss for the first round. Stick to just one 12 over a 5, maybe Cornell over Temple? (though Temple is pretty good) Maybe one 13 over a 4, but only if you really like their Mascot or something. Picking a 6 seed to make it to the Sweet 16 may be a good idea, like Notre Dame or something.
My list of teams that can win the whole thing for this year are: Kansas, Ohio State, Kentucky, West Virginia, Syracuse, Villanova. I wouldn't be surprised if any of these teams win, and I would be surprised if any other team does, including Duke.
My Final 4 picks are Kansas, West Virginia, Syracuse, and Villanova. My final pick is Kansas over West Virginia in the finals, 74-70.
So..while filling out your brackets, as you see these weird schools that you've never heard of (Baylor?! I hardly know her!), remember my tips and you will succeed.
And if you choose to copy my picks, beware. I don't know anything.
Sporcle Time:
The Office Millionaire:
http://www.sporcle.com/games/mybeaglebelle/millionaire_office_roast_dwight
Lost on $500,000. Screw the new episodes, they suck.
Oscar Winning Movies minus Vowels:
http://www.sporcle.com/games/GameShow2Go/BAVOscar
7/20.
Youtube Clip of the Week:
Steve Francis: riding the bench, but still picking apart the defenders.
Digging for knowledge.
Picking his NCAA bracket.
Good Luck Everyone!
-jk
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