mayweather

shane mosley and floyd mayweather are going to fight in may. pacquiao and clottey are fighting in march. the fight everyone wants to see is obviously pacquiao vs. mayweather. this was going to be one of the biggest boxing matches in the history of the world, and it was derailed by some drug testing differences between the two sides. they both gave up $10 million each. now they're both fighting lesser opponents. if either of them lose, that will be the end of boxing. nobody will care anymore. Although mayweather was out of boxing for a while due to "retirement", he was still undefeated in his prime and probably will beat mosley like he's his illegitimate child. pacquiao will wipe the floor with clottey and still maintain that he's the best pound for pound fighter this earth has ever seen. but if something happens and one of them loses? who would want to see a fight between money mayweather and the philipino then? the fight would lose many casual fans, like myself. sorry assholes. you shouldve fought when everyone wanted to see it. mayweather is scared to lose? pacquiao is on drugs? whatever. the real loser is the sport of boxing.

serena williams won the australian open! she has a bigger penis than greg oden.

and now a story for you asians out there. there was a chinese marathon not too long ago where 30 of the top 100 finishers were disqualified for cheating. it was like an episode of fresh prince of bel-air. some people hopped in cars. some people hired other runners to run for them. and some even gave their microchips (designed to time you as you run) to faster runners.

"Numbers 8,892 and 8,897 both recorded good times - but only thanks to number 8,900, who carried their sensors across the finish line."

and the most asian part of this story...doing well in the race adds to your scores on an exam that helps you get into college. asians cheating to get into better colleges. you can't even make this stuff up.

im skipping the sporcle quiz of the day and instead putting out a poll for the best youtube video of the week.

the first video is hedo turkoglu of the toronto raptors. this may be the best interview given ever, let alone the best youtube clip of the week. the 30 second mark is where the gold is but you should watch the whole thing to get the context.



pretty good, but maybe im overrating the humor of that video. whatever, i think its hilarious. his answer makes absolutely no sense and the interviewer is trying to put words in his mouth and hedo just does not care. he might as well have been asked, what is the meaning of life. the answer is "ball". next video is all about the greenman. whether you watch it's always sunny or not, you can still appreciate this clip. the announcers don't know the reference, but these guys definitely do a great job doing the charlie.



very funny. and i know you guys love the show so we might have a winner here. the final clip, however, is just a clip of how inhuman usaine bolt is, if you didn't already know. this clip puts his speed in perspective. you see him run against olympic athletes, but how about regular people? in this clip he runs against some espn employees, some of which are pretty fast im sure. watch and admire.



id say he's giving about 25% speed right there. what do you think? and what is the youtube video of the week?



-jk

greg oden

greg oden of the portland trailblazers is currently the out for the season due to a knee injury. HOWEVER, he is making the news in other ways. a year and a half ago, he took pictures of himself nude. now they are all over the internet. warning: if you look it up, prepare to use up all your bandwidth. greg odong's penis is in the hall of fame. it is big. it is gigantic. even for his height (he is 7' tall), and his race (african-american). people all over the internet are making jokes, and im sure his friends are making fun of him too. but i dont think words can truly do it justice...whatever, ill try.
greg oden can give himself a standing blow-j. now we all know where his knee problems came from. he is the new dr. manhattan in the upcoming film, watchmen in the ghetto. secretariat was his organ donor. hey greg, the holland tunnel called to ask you out on a date. santa claus does not believe in the existence of greg oden's penis.

greg oden found out about the news at 6am, when someone called him and told him the pictures are all over the internet. talk about morning wood. har har, the jokes can keep going, but i think greg oden himself said it best. this is really the first statement he released on radio. this is not a joke.

"Those pictures were taken and sent over a year and a half ago. I've definitely grown since then."

omg. there is nothing to say. you win, greg. you win.

alright, enough about leg oden. in other news, the superbowl is set! we've got the colts vs. the saints! manning vs. brees. indy vs. new orleans. the superbowl is the only sporting event in the world where it doesnt matter which 2 teams are playing, everyone is still going to watch. i dont have an official prediction yet, although im leaning towards the colts for now. peyton is too good. but more on that later.

the sporcle quiz of the day:

http://www.sporcle.com/games/mathias1979/popular_universities

14/30!

finally, the youtube clip of the week: so they got this guy to try to hit a halfcourt shot blindfolded. he thinks if he gets it, he's getting tickets to the NCAA final four. the prank is that when he misses, everyone in the crowd goes crazy anyway, to make the guy think he made it. easy enough right?



oh god, that was awkward.

-jk

him?

tiger woods is reported to be in a sex clinic. my question is, CAN you be a sex addict? tiger is just a horny guy. sound familiar? yes...that pretty much describes every guy in the universe, from planet earth, to mars, pluto, pandora, avatar, district 9, inglorious basterds, the hurt locker...wait, what was i talking about again?
oh yeah, the difference between woods and the rest of society is that he can get it every night from anyone he wants. he just flashes his billionaire athlete card and vaginas open for him. if he is really at this clinic, i think it's just for press. he wants people to think he is the victim, the sex was something out of his control...
if some dude has sex with a different girl every night and brags to his friends, he is a god. if a married man has sex with his wife every night, he is in a healthy relationship. obviously tiger's problem is not the sex. it's that he is shitty at marriage.

btw, what does he do at a sex clinic? how do they "cure" him? at a drug or alcohol clinic, i guess you talk to other addicts and eventually you mentally block yourself from every doing it again. but sex? is he never going to have sex again? do these people stop having sex once they are cured? once you're cured at a drug clinic for meth, you can't have an occasional meth session afterward. you are done for life. what is tiger gonna do? "sorry ladies, my penis is in rehab."

tiger should not have gotten married and he should have been smarter about his late night escapades. for a smart guy, he was extremely stupid. like many many many other professional athletes.

so i said rex ryan was fat in my last post. now it has been confirmed. according to deadspin via the ny post, rex ryan is reported to eat about 7000 calories a day. this is a coach, not an athlete. this is supposedly a regular human who probably doesn't work out unless you count fork to mouth as an exercise.

on to basketball. john wall, who is a freshman at kentucky, is going to be the number 1 pick in the nba draft this year. this guy is GREAT. he is going to be the best #1 pick in the last 10 years besides lebron and maybe dwight howard. anyone who wins the lottery will draft him no matter what point guard situation they have. that includes new jersey (devin harris), minnesota (jonny flynn/ricky rubio), golden state (monta ellis/stephen curry). and if the utah jazz win the lottery via the new york knicks (albiet there is a small chance), they will likely trade deron williams and keep john wall. COOL, right? im such an NBA insider.

oh and jeremy lin. one of the best players in all of california in high school. doesn't get recruited by a single Division I basketball school because he is asian. he instead opts for harvard, makes their D-I team, and is now killing it. thats right. he's killing it in a sport that is made for black people. a 6'2, 180 pound asian. chad ford of espn has him listed at the #86 nba prospect, meaning he will either be drafted late in the 2nd round or he'll be undrafted. why? because he is asian. this guy is good. maybe not NBA good, but he should at least get a chance. NBA teams, don't hold it against him that he actually stayed in college and will graduate. at least he can read and write.

the new segment...sporcle quiz of the week! this week the quiz is called "games by cupcake"
can you beat my score of 22/36?

http://www.sporcle.com/games/kagomeshuko/cupcakegames

youtube clip of the week..a quote from the hangover. you can listen to it clearly at about the 13-14 second mark.



-jk

random tidbits

ok so there are a few things to get to because i havent written in a while.

mark mcgwire admits he used steroids but doesnt admit that it helped him hit homeruns. does he actually believe that he would have hit 70 HR's in a season without it? everyone knows that steroids help you hit homeruns. it makes you stronger, it makes your swing faster, etc. sure he still has the great hand eye coordination. steroids won't help you there. but people on steroids can work out longer, right? imagine if ichiro or jeter went on steroids? how many more homeruns could they hit? jesus mark, get a clue you stupid fat ignorant piece of crap. we all know it helps. thats why you did it. thats why sosa did it. thats why bonds did it. bonds saw you 2 idiots chasing the record in 98 and said, "im better than these guys, im gonna juice too." and he did. and he was better. became probably the best hitter ever during that time. but fuck him. i hate bonds.

speaking of bonds, who is your most hated athlete of all time? here's my short list, in no particular order:

reggie miller, barry bonds, curt schilling, phil mickelson, philip rivers, pete rose, tom brady, david ortiz, joe morgan, aj pierzynski, stephon marbury, kevin garnett, paul pierce, rajon rondo.

there are a lot of guys i could add, and some that i used to hate so much but now i am hating less (like carmelo anthony, dirk nowitzki, manny ramirez). sports hate is so much fun. it might be more fun than sports loving, to be honest.

now moving on to the nfl. the jets have way exceeded the expectations. who would've thought they'd even make the playoffs, let alone the AFC championship game, back when they were 4-6? many, including myself, thought they were dead. now they are onto indianapolis, where i think their miracle season will end. but let's imagine for amoment that they win, and go on to the superbowl and win that. is that more impressive than the first time they won the superbowl, back in the namath days? the jets winning with joe namath is widely considered the biggest upset in league history, but if they win it this year it surpasses that, right? what do you think?

they just announced the slam dunk contest participants: it will be nate, gerald wallace, shannon brown, and either eric gordon/demar derozan. disappointed? no dwight howard/lebron james. lebron, said he was participating this year, but he chickened out because he has a huge vagina. his vagina could fit nate robinson.

apparently nate robinson can't get off the bench on the knicks but he somehow ends up winning these dunk contests. he is a freak show. i hate him and his 50 attempts per dunk. shannon brown is going to win it this year and it won't be close.

is it ok for giants fans root for the jets? im a giants fan, and i hate it. people say, its ok to root for the jets because its all for NY, same stadium, same city. i hope these people break their ankles jumping off the giants bandwagon. why is there such less hatred between the giants and jets fans compared to yankees/mets fans? a yankee fan wouldnt be caught dead cheering for the mets if they were in the world series, right? i wont root for or against the jets. btw, did rex ryan eat warren sapp? he is very very fat. he's very smart, he has a great defensive mind, but he is very fat. and mark sanchez is dirty. very very dirty. and it has little to do with his mexicanness.

in other news, im all for conan in the late-night fiasco. screw jay leno, he's an asshole. im glad jimmy kimmel spanked him on his own show, the youtube clip of the week.



-jk

HOF

so andre dawson finally makes it to the hall of fame. but the bigger story is that roberto alomar did NOT make it on the first ballot. this guy is one of the best 2nd baseman of all time, yet he does not get in probably because he had a huge incident where he spit on an umpire.

i think the hall of fame voting is pretty ridiculous. while i dont disagree with the decision to keep alomar out his first year eligible, i do think the voting system is flawed. there are so many writers who vote for this thing, and because of that we have yet to have a single unanimous decision to vote a player in the HOF. not rickey henderson, not ted williams, not babe ruth, nobody. there are always a few writers who hold a grudge for some reason or decide, he'll get in anyway, he doesn't need my vote. like their vote is so damn important that they want to be the dick who doesn't let some guy be a unanimous candidate. eff the baseball writers. all of them. how could you NOT vote for nolan ryan, possibly the greatest pitcher ever who received only 98.8% of the votes? 1.2% of the writers decided to be assholes, that's why.

speaking of baseball, randy johnson retired yesterday, marking the end of the career of the best left-handed pitcher we have seen in our lives. people may remember him as the guy who destroyed that poor bird who flew into his pitch and subsequently exploded. (video below)



though he had a stint with the yankees, he is most associated with the mariners or the diamondbacks, who he won a ring with. i'll always remember this guy as the most intimidating pitcher to ever play. if you were a lefty getting into the box to face this guy, just put the bat down and go back to the dugout. dont even try. nice career: 10 all-star selections, 1 world series mvp, 5 time cy-young winner,1 perfect game, 0 cracked smiles, and a partridge in a pear tree.

nfl playoffs starting this weekend, but not before the bcs championship tomorrow between bama and texas. it's been about a month since either of these teams played, so all of the hype is gone for me. its like having 2 weeks before the superbowl..i think its a real downer and i hate it. screw america and their need for money.

the following youtube clip is the clip of the week. i dare you to watch this and NOT laugh hysterically. there is a dollar with your name on it if you make it all the way through.

the video is called, TOP 60 Ghetto black names. you may have already seen it, but even so it is probably worth another look.




i particularly enjoy at the 30 second mark where the kid is holding up a bag of kfc for no reason at all, (other than to be racist, of course) and the subtle references to grape drank, collard greens, fruit punch, watermelon, etc. that's like peter chao racist right there. but the kids in the video look kinda black so its ok, right?

-jk

guns

gilbert arenas is an idiot. he should be banned from the nba for life. he pulls out 3 guns in the wizards locker room in front of teammate javaris crittenton. crittenton, of course, pulls out his own gun. it started over a dispute over some gambling or something. there were no guns drawn at each other, or in a threatening way, they were just shown to each other. the details are not very clear as of yet. there are obviously legal implications to come, but these guys should be banned from playing basketball professionally for the rest of their lives. how dangerous is it to keep guns in their lockers? are you that dumb?

yes, he is. gilbert is a re-tard.

it is ironic that they play for the wizards, formerly known as the washington bullets. the owner changed the name way back when because he wanted to avoid the negative connotation that name has.

devin harris says 75% of nba players own guns, meaning he probably owns one or two himself. why own guns? athletes are all millionaires, yes, and they need protection at times, sure. but guns are just going to get you in trouble, no? most players have terrible judgment when it comes to using one responsibly. can you ever use one responsibly? you are only getting yourself into trouble when owning a gun. when are you going to use it? how often do people try to rob you? can't you just hire a bodyguard? or have security around you when you go out?

doesn't joe paterno, head football coach at penn state, look like the guy from up??

http://totallylookslike.files.wordpress.com/2009/05/carl-fredrickson-from-up-totally-looks-like-joe-paterno.jpg


nfl playoffs are starting soon and the first weekend has 3 rematches of the final week of the regular season...BORING.

hopefully the final college football games are good, starting with boise state and tcu tonight.

and finally, the youtube clip of the week. mr. villanova troublemaker.



happy new year!

-jk