He did it

I always wondered what kind of job would be best for me. What would I like to do most, within reason? It's a pretty difficult question for anyone, but I've never really found a big interest in any real academic subject. I guess sometimes you just fall into a major and stick with it.

Finding a niche isn't easy. Growing up I thought being a lawyer would be pretty cool, but even to this day I can't help but laugh when hearing the words pro bono.

Being in the medical field would be rewarding but it's depressing thinking about working in a hospital all the time. I can't think of another occupation where you have to work so hard just to be average. I decided I am going to be a full-time blogger. For life. F money.

I look forward to the weekend so much that everyday I wake up and feel like it's Friday. Then I realize it's Monday or Tuesday and I want to throw up. (Yes, everyday that is not Friday is Monday or Tuesday.)

Roger Clemens is digging himself deeper into his own grave. The man takes steroids, people watch him, then he's found guilty, but he keeps claiming innocence. Just based on the naked eye test, I think it's pretty obvious he is a dirty dirty man. For the following reasons:

1.

2. See #1.

Does anyone in the world like this guy? He left every single team he played for on bad terms. Not even the Yankee fans like him, though he won championships here in NY. The casual fan hates him, because he juiced. He cheated on his wife with a country music star, so his family probably hates him. Everyone else hates him because we all hate country music. This guy really has no friends. If a young chick was being born and it just cracked through its eggshell and peeked its head out of a small hole and saw Roger Clemens, it would commit suicide by jumping out of its nest. Immediately.

What else can you add to why/how the world hates Roger Clemens? Comment. Here are a few more to get you started:

-Every night before the devil goes to sleep, he prays to Roger Clemens.
-Roger Clemens supports terrorism in the war against terrorism.
-He always, always eats the last piece of cake.


Your turn!

I have a youtube clip of the week:

Roger Clemens is as intelligent as Charlie:



-jk

my favorite planet? uranus.

What's up? Not much here.

With Brett Favre coming back, the Vikings just jumped into Superbowl contention.

I know football is America's #1 sport and people get really excited starting from the beginning of training camp, but I can't seem to. Training camp and preseason football is more boring than the middle of baseball season to me. All anyone talks about is injuries, fantasy football player rankings, and fake drama. Oh my god! Rex Ryan is cursing too much!!! Oh man, Terrell Owens and Ocho Cinco just made eye contact! They hate each other! Ah, Brett Favre just had diarrhea!! I am excited for the season, but stupid preseason stuff gets way too much attention.

Which sport is the most luck-based/which is the most skill-based?

Baseball is probably the hardest game to play, along with golf. You can't just rely on pure athleticism/strength to be good at these sports. You need to be born with some God-given skills and still put in millions of hours of practice. In basketball, if you're 6'8, you pick up a ball and dunk. Congrats, you can at least make a college team. In football, if you're 6'3 and 300 lbs, you can do something useful on the field. Here's my debatable list, from most skill based to most athletic based:

1. Baseball
2. Golf
3. Hockey
4. Soccer (best combo of both)
5. Basketball
6. Football

The thing about hockey is that you need to be an A++++ ice skater to play. I can't skate for shit so I can respect guys who skate all day with full contact while trying to control a tiny puck with a long stick...sounds kind of gay.



Oops, forgot about tennis...if this fake video were real, it would jump to #1...but I can't tell if it's real. No, it's fake. Definitely fake...right?

I hate the guy who invented video editing. Back in the day, when a person died in a movie, they died in real life...I liked it that way. Maybe I'm old school.

Youtube Clip of the Week:

Skip ahead to 1:49 for the real stuff.



He's got some talent. He should take it to South Beach.

-jk

Dooty

A-Rod hit his 600th HR today. I don't think anyone really cares. The casual fan thinks anyone who does anything significant in baseball is on steroids. Sadly, they aren't totally wrong. Anyone who's broken a record in the past 15-20 years could have been juiced. Anyone who breaks a record in the next 5-10 years may have been juiced at some point in their career. Steroids brought fans back to baseball in the 90s. Now it's making people lose interest.

The Brett Favre story changes everyday, and of course he disclaims reports that he texted teammates that he was retiring. This guy is an attention whore. I refuse to waste my time on his waffling ass. I got better things to do.

Speaking of Brett Favre, apparently he's sent penis pics to some girl when he was with the Jets! And he's married! And this past Superbowl he watched it with Tiger Woods! Ah!

Nice Catch, youtube clip of the week:


EMBED-Spiderman Style Baseball Catch - Watch more free videos

-jk

Duty

So this was awkward...I'm currently at jury duty. There are maybe 300 people in this room and just a few outlets. Since I brought my laptop, I found a nice corner with an outlet and sat there. Another dude finds the outlet near me and plugs in before I do. Since I have about 3 hours of battery life I decided not to plug in yet. Another man finds the open plug and sits two rows ahead of me. While he pulls out his laptop, I immediately reach into my bag pull out the cord and charge up at 95%. He has yet to turn around.

F him, I was here first.

I decided I am going to try and be selected. I think I hate work that much. I will talk to the lawyers like a regular person and not let them know my deep inner racist, prejudice, anti-Jew/Asian/gay/straight/black/white/animal/vegan thoughts. I hope the hate doesn't accidentally slip out.

I love baseball and the old-school mentality to the game. I love the rich history and the "numbers" that made the game great. Though the recently broken records have been tainted by steroids, some people continue to hold onto the old records and dismiss the new ones.

It's weird that the game of baseball, which has changed more through the years than any of the other big sports, is the one sport that we really pay close attention to numbers for. If you think about it, many people still jerk off to Babe Ruth records. How can his numbers still be relevant? Since he retired then they have introduced lower mounds, smaller stadiums, better bats, better mitts, NON-WHITE PEOPLE, etc.

You would think records matter more for sports that have a completely level playing field. But no...the records are soo damn significant in a game where every single team plays on a different size field, where half the league plays with an extra hitter while the other half has the pitcher batting, and all teams spend varying amounts of money on players. Not to mention that most of the stats from the old days (ERA, Wins, BA, RBI, etc.) are quite flawed.

Brett Favre is retiring again, I don't buy it. He'll be there playing when the Vikings season starts. He just wants to skip mini-camp like he normally does. I don't even know why ESPN and other sports sites even report that he's "retiring" because we all know it's a scam.

Hey Brett, why don't you stop being an emotional little pussy and stop trying to jerk everyone around and just say you're skipping camp and you'll be ready for the season. Asshole.

Reports say Shaq may sign with the Celtics...I think they both lose on this one. I hate Shaq. I think he's an attention hog who actually sucks at everything he's ever done. He's used his god given fat ass to play basketball (a game he would never even be close to good at if he weren't so large), and his fame to try and rap and be funny. He's about as funny as the thing created if Dane Cook had a baby with Carlos Mencia and that baby took a poop. Basically, he's just as funny as a regular unfunny comedian's shit. And he's even worse at rapping.

Inception was great.
Entourage Season 7 sucks.
Louie is great.

That's all for now.

Youtube Clip of the Week:

Here's another trick shot.



I'm getting so bored of these. If you put a billion monkeys with a billion typewriters in a room, one will write a coherent novel right? I could do that if I had time, a camera, and douches to get excited when I make it. Hell I could go get a basketball, go to the moon, throw the ball from the moon, make it fight through to the earth's atmosphere, then land inside of a gym, then bounce once into the hoop and then have the ball turn into a monkey with a typewriter. It can be done, I swear all I need is time.

-jk