MetroSports

The damn Rangers/Rays series fooled me. The Rangers are actually much much better than I thought.

Before I get to my ULTIMATE BASEBALL PLAYOFF PREVIEW PT 2, I must say the following:

Bill Simmons is a douche. It is the middle of the baseball playoffs, Week 6 of a great NFL season, the middle of a crazy college football season, and this guy writes a basketball column.

Bonerkill.

Ben Roethlisberger is back from raping women...I mean, he's back from his 4-game suspension..for raping women. The Steelers are already seen as one of the best teams in the NFL, and now they are getting one of the league's best QB's back. Too bad he rapes women. You think he's gotten laid since his allegations? And what kind of dumb, low-life, skank of a woman would actually have sex with him at this time?

No seriously..who? Comment. (Note: don't say "your mom/sister/grandma")

Time for CHAMPIONSHIP SERIES PREVIEWS (yeah, it's late):

Yankees vs. Rangers
Position by Position ratings! (Again? How boring.)

Catcher: Posada vs. Molina
I can't say enough about how bad Jorge Posada is. He's thrown out 15.3% of stolen base attempts this season. THAT IS TERRIBLE, FOLKS. If the Yankees win this series, and the next team decides to play with a cardboard printout of a catcher (that isn't Jorge), I will choose that picture to have the edge in my player rater system.

Edge: Molina

1B: Teixeira vs. Mitch Moreland
I don't know much about this rookie Moreland except that he has a funny name. I might be reading a bit between the lines here, but I think his ancestors owned a large plantation and had many many slaves.
Mark Tex used to play for the Rangers, which means they made him good before the Yankees paid him millions to come to NY. Yay, baseball parity!

Edge: Tex by a lot

2B: Cano vs. Kinsler
Ian Kinsler is pretty underrated. He's a top offensive second baseman but no one really knows of him unless you play fantasy baseball. But Cano has been so good in the playoffs so far that it's hard to say anyone else has been better.

Edge: I think you know, don't ya? (i.e. CANO, DON'T YA KNOW?)

3B: A-Rod vs. Michael Young
Michael Young, Todd Helton, and Livan Hernandez are the answers to every baseball trivia question in the 2000s. Trust me.

Edge: A-Rod

SS: Jeter vs. Andrus
Derek Jeter makes me frustrated more and more each season. He's the Yankee Captain, but even I can admit that he's a bit overrated. He's a career .262 hitter in the ALCS. Captain Clutch? Not so much.

Edge: Even

OF: Gardner/Granderson/Swisher vs. Cruz/Hamilton/Francoeur

This is tough...well, not really. Gardner and Granderson have been good, but Cruz and Hamilton are better. Hamilton is probably the MVP this season, and his tendency to hit a baseball well is only matched by his tendency to abuse drugs and alcohol.

Edge: Rangers

DH: Berkman vs. Vlad Guerrero
Lance Berkman has been a huge disappointment for the Yankees. He's a plate disciplined, power hitter who lost his power and plate discipline. Vlad Guerrero is old but still good. Vlad hit .300 this season and hit 29HRs.

Edge: VLAD

Pitching:
Since I'm writing this after watching two games already, I will use my 20/20 hindsight vision to say the following: the Yankees are in trouble. CC and Phil Hughes both got rocked. The Yankees HAVE to win the games CC pitches, and they got bailed out in game 1. Cliff Lee vs. Pettite in Game 3, and Yankee fans should remember the ass-whooping they got from Lee last year in Yankee stadium in the World Series. If the Yankees lose Game 3, they have to count on the shitty AJ Burnett in Game 4. The offense isn't doing great, with much of their runs coming from the bottom of the lineup and Cano.

Manager: Girardi vs. Ron Washington
There's so much to say about Washington.

He smoked crack!!!

Okay, I guess there's not THAT much to say.

In conclusion, I'd be worried if I were a Yankee fan. The Rangers have speed and run the bases really well. And if Girardi doesn't play Cervelli over Posada, then he is an idiot and I will never forgive him if they lose.

As for the Giants/Phillies series:

The pitching is just ridiculous in this series. The team ERA for the Giants since last month is under 1.50. The Phillies have the best pitcher, the best #2 spot pitcher, and the best #3 spot pitcher.

Prediction: Giants in 7

Youtube Clip of the Week:

If you haven't seen it, watch the whole thing. If you have seen it, watch it again. I guess what I'm trying to say is, the video is awesome.



Suck on that DK!

-jk